ghost // fillie

013

013

principle vs. principal

~

"so, finn," principal harbour asked, his elbows resting on the table of his desk, "how come you weren't in class?"

finn sat across from the principal of the school, a dark oak wood desk between them. finn was leaning back in his chair, his eyes trained on a random painting behind mr.harbour's wall. 

finn shrugged, and ran a hand through his hair, looking to the side, "i was trying to down a whole bottle of my antidepressants in the bathroom"

principal harbour laughed. he actually laughed. he chuckled, his eyes crinkling up in a most insincere smile. he thought it was a joke.

millie's mouth dropped open. after barely saving finn from suicide, fate had brought finn here, where he should be getting help- but instead, finn's supposed salvation was laughing. she was standing right next to the principal, who is always concerned with his student's safety. she was watching him laugh at finn's confession. 

but finn wasn't laughing.

that's when mr.harbour returned to being serious.

"wait, really?" the principal asked, raising his eyebrows. 

finn crossed his arms and looked away, not replying.

"uh...i uh.......i don't know how to deal with these," the principal said, clearing his throat.

"gee, i sure am glad my clearly depressed boyfriend is in a safe place nowadays!" millie yelled.

the principal's office was full of academic posters and school- spirited things racked up on the wall, but it still seemed empty. it matched the principal's personality well.

principal harbour picked up the phone and pressed a few phone numbers and as it dialed he asked finn, "were you being serious? because if you were being serious i have to call 911,"

finn didn't say anything, just turned his head to stare at his school's supposed leader.

"okay. i'll just.....get you to a counselor then," principal harbour said, "and i'm gonna need you to hand over your antidepressants,"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

millie knew the strange feeling finn was having. it was a feeling of being feared and pitied at the same time. as ms. ryder tried to talk to him but finn wasn't listening.

finn was thinking.

millie couldn't see what he was thinking, only the empty, vacant eyes he had, staring out into nothing. 

they had called him in here when he came back to school after millie's death, and they assured him that they could come and talk to him at any time.

but he just looked so disconnected.

and at that moment, millie realized she was slowly losing him.

~~~~~

they sent finn back to class an hour later. an hour after they tried to get across to him.  an hour after he nearly ended his life, he was most likely sitting in his english class, listening to mr.heaton ramble on about how stupid some american customs could be. 

millie said most likely because she stayed back, listening in on mr.harbour and ms.ryder, making sure they actually cared about finn. 

"i'm really worried about that kid," ms.ryder said, filling up her paper cup with coffee. 

"he's.....he's been through some real shit, that's all i'm gonna say," mr.habrour said, leaning on the counter, taking a sip from his coffee. he bit his lip, staring at the floor in deep concentration, "do you think he was serious?" 

ms.ryder furrowed her eyebrows, "about what?" 

"about....killing himself in the bathroom?" 

ms.ryder didn't reply, "maybe,' 

mr.harbour ran a hand through his hair, "and what's he doing taking antidepressants?  what does he need those for?" 

ms.ryder bit her lip, "uh, well last time he was here- about a week ago- i referred him to a doctor because his evaluation said he was showing signs of depression," 

mr.harbour drew his eyebrows together in confusion, "he's just a kid," 

"a very fragile kid," ms.ryder said, putting a lid on her cup, "finn was....very attached to millie. he basically lost one of the core pillars holding him up. that can cause him to break. it takes a hell of a lot to keep yourself up when your very foundation crumbles, mr.harbour. do you understand what i'm saying?" 

mr.harbour met ms.ryder's eyes. he knew what had happened to ms.ryder. everyone did.ms.ryder was in an abusive relationship with matthew modine. so, ms.ryder understood loss and constant sadness; how much worse it was to be tormented in the mind rather than the body. because it's difficult to escape your own thoughts. 

mr.harbour nodded, looking down at the ground, then he walked towards the door, saying, "well, call his parents. and keep a close eye on him. we can't afford to lose any more students," 

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