A Million Mistakes

Chapter 15

I did not get enough sleep last night. Celeste's mid life crisis was an all night affair about how she hadn't found her one true love yet and that maybe she should settle down. It took me all night to convince her that we were only 24 and that it wasn't necessary for her settle down at all. Just because I had a daughter, didn't mean she needed to get married and have 12 kids. The conversation ended with her skipping off to go flirt with some guards. It was a waste of a good night sleep. And by the time it was over, it was time to take Kendallyn to Miss Silvia's office for tutoring.

I was just now getting back from Celeste's room. I hadn't been in my room since I was reading the....

The letter!

I left it on my floor in my rush to help Celeste. I rushed into the room and noticed my room was freshly cleaned and the letter was no where to be found. I looked everywhere, hoping they set it somewhere but it wasn't anywhere.

It was gone.

"Hey Ames! You left your phone.....what's wrong?"

I looked up at Celeste. "The letter is gone."

"The letter...oh!" She looked around as if it would magically appear. "I'm sure it's here somewhere. Your room was just cleaned. So ask your maids where it is."

Oh. I didn't think about that. Lucy cleans our room every week.

I was up and over to the phone in seconds, dialing the number that would connect me to the Phone in the maids quarters.

"Hello. How may I help you?" The voice on the other end asked.

"May I speak to Lucy please?"

There was rustling on the other end and a few moments later Lucy took the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey Luc," I sighed.

"America? What's up?"

"There was a letter on my floor yesterday. Do you know what happened to it?"

"I mailed it."

The phone slipped from my fingers.

"No, no, no," I breathed.

"What's wrong, America?" Celeste asked.

"No! Oh no. Oh my god," I mumbled. It was getting hard to breathe. I think I'm hyperventilating. Or maybe I'm dying because surely my life is over.

Celeste griped my shoulder, forcing me to sit down. "America. You need to calm down. Take deep breaths."

How can I breathe when it feels like my rib cage is being torn open?

"This can't be happening."

All my nightmares are becoming real.

"America, what's going on?"

"The letter. The one I wrote Maxon the day Kendallyn was born. It was mailed to him."

"Oh my god," Celeste gasped.

"He will be reading it any moment now. If he hasn't already," I muttered.

I expected her to freak out or rally behind me, but she was silent. I looked up. She was biting her lip, frowning.

"Maybe it's for the best..." She trailed off. "Now that he knows..."

"Celeste, He will hate me," I said pitifully. "I'll lose him. And I'll lose my job. And Kendallyn will loose her real father."

"I never thought of it like that," Celeste sighed.

"It's all I ever think about, Cel. Every second of every day, I mull over the repercussions of my actions. And lying always fares better than telling him."