A Million Mistakes

Chapter 18

I see him everywhere. Literally and figuratively. I see him on magazine cover after magazine cover and on replays of the report. But even more than that, I see him in the way Kendal smiles or the way her chocolate eyes warm when she's happy. I see him in the lens of every camera, just like I used to see myself reflected back at me in the lens of his. I hear him telling me to leave with the click of every door latch. I see his look of betrayal every time I look in the mirror. He haunts me everywhere I go. Another ghost of my past to rest on my shoulders. At least the memories will never leave me unlike the person who stars in every one.

As you can tell by that dramatic description, I miss Maxon a lot. A lot. And no matter how much I push him back with all my other demons, he pushes his way to the front. And I'm pretty sure Kendallyn is determined to remind me every chance she can.

She doesn't know she is doing it. But her questions about dads and fathers have only gotten worse. She is curious. She has finally found a father figure in her life and now he's gone. She probably feels that he left her. Thats the one thing I didn't want to happen. It's the reason I ignored Maxon for the first few months I worked at the palace. But eventually I learned that Maxon would never push her away. He's not like that.

I am.

I'm the one who messed this up for all parties involved.

Rain pounded against my umbrella, begging to seep through, like the dark thoughts into my mind. "Of course Angeles chooses today to rain of all days," I cursed under my breath.

Wind thundered by me, forcing me to grip onto my umbrella for dear life. Since when did sunny Angeles get thunderstorms? This was some east coast style stuff. Thunder cracked in the sky, echoing my thoughts.

Of course my phone died today, stopping me from being able to call Celia for a ride. Of course I went out looking for job opportunities today, causing me to be out today in the first place. I've posted an add of me all around Angeles, looking for events to play. Of course it looked perfectly sunny outside this morning, which led to me not wearing a jacket. And of course Mother Nature decided to try and drown me in water like I drown myself in my sorrows. Maybe I can control the weather.

The only luck I've had today is that the man, who rejected my proposal to put my business card on his businesses cork board, was kind enough to give me an umbrella. You can't have a job, but stay dry! Not that the umbrella is much help in this kind of rain. This rain pelted you from all directions. It sunk its cold teeth into your clothes and bit you down to your core. The kind that made your teeth chatter and your legs shake to the point where you can barely move forward.

"It is not humanly possible for it to go from 90 degrees outside to what must be below zero!" I muttered.

"America!"

I looked around. I couldn't see a thing through the rain and darkness, except for blinking headlights and flashes of lightning. Either that or my eyes were frozen shut.

"America!" The voice called. A car pulled up to the curb next to me, it's headlights flashing in my face. I used my arm as a shield from the rain and squinted at the figure in the car.

"Celia?" I questioned.

"America, get in!" Celia yelled. I stumbled to the car, surely looking drunk to the untrained eye, and tripped into the backseat. I was immediately hit with a burst of warm air and the smell of Kamber's vanilla perfume.

Kamber turned in her seat to face me. "America we have to move fast."

"What's wrong?" I asked, still out of it. My clothes chilled me to my bones and I'm sure I look like a drowned rat. Not a poor wet helpless puppy. An ugly drowned rat.