Alation

The tenebrosity of a jaded mind

I'm exhausted, my mind is jaded, 

I slept fine, and the coffee worked like magic, 

But I'm tired and my soul seems abraded, 

Why am I subjected to a damnation so tragic? 

The darkness that surrounds me, 

Calls out from depths I cannot comprehend, 

My heart silently screams begging for mercy, 

If respite is not found, I may, in my tenebrosity descend.

I know He works in mysterious ways, 

His wisdom though obscure, is complete, 

I know what I feel is simply a passing phase, 

But my resolve does occasionally deplete. 

Its not a flaw, its not weakness, 

I'm only human and I have my limit, 

It gets overwhelming at times, this persistent meekness, 

My mind often fights with my heart, Oh what a scrimmage!

I'm fatigued, I'm tired, my existence seems wired, 

This is not the strain that sleep can defeat, 

Its life that is causing this exhaustion that's undesired, 

This is the tenebrosity that I alone can beat. 

Worn down by the world I may be, 

My will may have oscillated gravely, 

But I'm not one to accept debris, 

On dwindly feet, I will fight this darkness bravely. 

They say there is always light at the end of the tunnel, 

That the night is always the darkest preceding dawn, 

This then is the darkness before the end of the hustle, 

Valiantly I will claw and fight, And inspite, I will live on. 

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ 

Hello! Who missed Alation? Raise your hands! 

I for one, surely did! I missed being able to vent out and run away :p 

So before you'll assume I'm depressed, let me be honest, I am! In the slightest. More zoned out and hurt than depressed really. And don't worry, I'm one resilient soul to be pushed to depths. I like the word Phoenix, it does have a ring to it doesn't it? Sometimes, life really does hand you more lemons than can be used to make lemonades out of... 

About this one, we all have phases of darkness, complete feeling of loss and fear. We are tired of waging wars and for a brief moment in time, the frustration makes us question everything. Come on, we have all been exhausted of living our lives as they are, at some point or another. 

Does it mean we are weak? Nah.. Its okay to let go and buckle once in a while, as far as we have the strength to stand back up. So whatever it takes, as far as we get back into the game, it doesn't matter what means led to the end. 

Coming to this one, how did you find it? I just wrote it in a flow, didn't wait to see if it makes sense or not. Its a raw thought process of a really jaded mind. Be honest, how was it? Could you relate or it got too dark? 

I'm as always, waiting to hear from you all! 

Cheers! 

Zoya

P.S. Lara @clararicks1, you got your wish!  <3