Anxious, restless, scared, and glum
To this darkness, I may succumb.
Feels like I'm caged and can't get away,
Trapped in here like a helpless prey.
I feel like a bird with broken wings,
Entangled deeply in these damaged strings.
Sometimes loneliness feels so loud,
Sometimes silence kills in the crowd.
I try to move but I fear I'd fall,
My wings are broken, therefore, I stall.
At times I don't allow myself to think,
What if that pushes me to the brink?
I find excuses and diversions,
To prevent my soul's ultimate submersion.
I feel at home in this abyss, which is why
I try not to let anyone know something's amiss.
I've mastered the art of hiding it all,
I stand on my feet strangely tall.
When it's dark and my spirit bawls,
I let out low, guttural drawls.
When the day dawns, I try to glide
My wings are broken but at least I tried.
I want to move on and feel new things,
One day I will fly with my new wings.
Until then I will cry when I must,
I won't let the pain become rust.
It is arduous a journey to undertake,
My will to live I won't forsake.
I will be merry where the sun beams,
Where it doesn't, I'll see it in my dreams.
Breaths may seem laboured at times,
But in it's hush, life gratefully chimes.
Until I feel like myself again,
I will dance in these thunderous rains.
~~ ~~ ~~
Hello, peeps!
It's been an excruciatingly long time and now that I'm back, I'm back with a rather heavy piece. This quarantine / physical distancing, call it what you will, has got me feeling all kinds of things.
I must confess, this is a personal piece. For months, I've been grappling with some form of depression. Being the kind of person that I am, I refused to share it until a close friend took me by the arms and shook the acceptance into me. He ensured I knew that I wasn't okay but he's also going all out to ensure that I get out of this. One of his theories is to talk about it, about my feelings, about what scares me and what keeps me up at night.
So I shared. @Nikk03 and @LaraRuze reasoned with me that my writing has always been my solace so why didn't I seek it when I clearly needed it the most. Therefore, here I am, with a melancholy piece hemming on hope. I do truly believe that I will be okay, no matter how long it takes and that's the exact message I wish to give to you all. Things may feel difficult and you may feel unlike yourself, but you can't give up because each breath you take is a gift from the Almighty telling you he loves you and wants you to keep going.
I'll end with a quote from Finding Nemo, "Just Keep Swimming."
Until next time,
Zoya
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Alation
PoetryHighest Ranking in Poetry: #7 "The elegy of silence, The wailing of fate, The panache of death, The din of rage. Will quieten itself, Soon enough, someday."