just friends

okay bitch

       

Real Life

"Okay bitch, what are you going to do now." Jess asks, continuing to eat her food like she had no worries.

"Cry." I deadpan, annoyed with the situation with Diego, no matter how much I loved him, whatever was going on with us now was not okay or healthy.

"Bitch, but really though."  Jess asked, rolling her eyes at my response.

"I really don't know, whatever is happening right now isn't okay. We are in this unhealthy in-between stage. Like yes at first it was what we both needed and wanted but now it's like a purgatory stage."

"Okay bitch get deep, but you're right. You have been in this weird stage for too long and I think it is messing with both of you." She shrugs her shoulders, I sigh knowing that we're both right. Our situation was okay at first, but months being together but not together was unhealthy. Why weren't we together? It felt like we could go for it and either be the greatest decision of our lives or we'd crash and burn.

"I think we are both got used to being whatever we are and fear whatever could happen if we do go for it."

"Okay but if you don't go for it, you'll regret it."

"I get that yes, but we are basically together, just no labels. And if he is going around with these other girls while claiming I'm it for him, that's not okay. I feel like yes Diego loves me and I know I love him but I don't think he is ready." My heart hurts at the thought, but Diego was known for jumping from relationship to relationship, I feel like he needed time to figure himself out and not focus on me or other girls.

"You have a point, but he really loves you. You got to make your own decisions babe, and yes maybe Diego does need to get to know himself better, get his shit together and love himself, but no one, and babe I mean no one could ever say or think you two don't love each other and are perfect together."

"This situation is a mess, like part of me hates that I know about his shadiness and the other part is like bitch better now than later, cause right now we can fix it, take sometime away and fix our shit and maybe get back together. My heart says he is it, and just to forgive him and be his girl and my head is like bitch if you do that you are dooming your relationship." I ramble, plopping my head down to the table, I felt so overwhelmed. How could Diego and I go from perfect and happy to me heart feeling like it was being torn to pieces.

"I want to see you happy, so I say go for your heart, but at the same time I want you to have happiness in the long run, so I say listen to your head. If any two people can come back together better than ever, it is you two. Look at me Melissa," she grabs my attention, tapping the table, making sure we make eye contact. "Your happiness is so important, and so is Diego's, talk your shit out, figure out ways to fix this and make your shit work. I honestly can't see you two with anyone but each other and I want you guys to work, I want you to be happy." She reaches across, grabbing my hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Thank you Jess, I am so glad you are in my life. Life blessed my messy ass with you." I give her hand a squeeze again.

"Alright bitch, we are done with our food and we got to get you to Diego, so you can stop being so stressed." She sighs, grabbing her things, I sit there a few more seconds wanting to prolong my heartbreak.