just friends

help me

       

Real Life

"Ethan, help me." I whine through the phone.

"Melissa, as much as I love and adore your ass, I can not help you with this. I love you and Diego, and as much as I want to help you two, I can't." He mumbles through the phone. I sigh knowing that he was right, I just didn't want to deal with this shit. It was going to suck more than getting my wisdom teeth removed.

"Okay but help me make a decision. I'm so confused. I love him and want to just let this all go, but I know if I do that, it wont fix anything and most likely it will occur again. But if I do something now, take time to learn how to love ourselves and be good, mentally, there is a chance that we may not get back together. That scares the shit out of me, I love him E and the thought of losing him hurts so much, and it will be so much worse if I do lose him." I'm close to tears, I was so overwhelmed. I was sitting outside of Diego's house, procrastinating whatever I was going to do.

"Mel, baby, don't overwhelm yourself. Breathe. No matter what happens, you will be okay. Both of you. No matter what happens, you will be okay. I promise."

"You can't promise that Ethan." I cry into the phone, I don't want to do this.

"Look, I want you to do whatever is best for you. If you don't it wont workout between you two, and you two are meant to be. You have to look at this in the big picture, you two are endgame, maybe not at this exact moment but you will get back to each other."

"You are right, big picture, these feelings they can't just disappear, we will get back to each other." I repeat more to myself than to Ethan.

"Okay, now stop procrastinating and go talk to him. Don't fight, talk." He says, being my voice of reason.

"Okay, but do you want to know what I'm going to tell him?" I ask, wanting to tell someone, so I don't overwhelm myself.

"No. Don't. Diego deserves to hear whatever you are going to say first, I love you. If you need me call, immediately. Do not hesitate, I am one hundred percent here for you best friend. Go do whatever you need to do, I love you Mel." He says, and I feel at ease knowing Ethan would always have my back and catch my if I eat shit.

"I love you Ethan, bye. Call you soon, most likely." I give a half-hearted laugh.

"Bye Mel." I click the end call, and sit in my car.

If Diego decided to talk to me and be honest, I would forgive him, we would work on our shit together and work to be better on our own and together. If he decided to continue to be shifty and lie to me I would have to tell him we need to take some time away again. My heart hurts and the idea of Diego being untruthful to me, and having to have the painful conversation of taking yet another break. This time it would have to be different, a true break. We would both really need to work on ourselves, so we could be the best for each other. I loved him so much, that I was hoping that he would just be honest with me. I take a deep breathe before growing a pair and exiting my car. I walked towards Diego's house, my heart almost thumping out of my chest. These next  moments would change our lives, hopefully for the better.