The Thin Blue Line, Rage In Chicago #3 (Chicago PD/Jay Halstead)

Chapter 14 "Do You Ever Miss"

The next morning Halstead wakes up and looks around. He's laying in a bed in a room he's never seen before.
Looking under the covers he sees he has on his boxer briefs.
He sits up, grabs his jeans from the bottom of the bed, stands up and puts them on.
His head starts to spin making him sit back down on the bed, hanging his head.
After a few minutes, he feels like someone is watching him.
He looks over at the doorway, "Will?"
"What have you done little brother?" Will asks.
Halstead's eyes get huge, "Last I remember I was sitting at the bar in a restaurant," he tells his brother.
"And then you went home with a random woman! You're lucky that so-called random woman was Natalie!" Will tells him, "Natalie told me you had no idea who she was. You didn't ask any questions what so ever or say no when she asked you if you wanted to go back to her place to talk! You said yes, stood up and started walking out with her! Your wife was in surgery fighting for her life and you pull a dumbass move like this! What do you have to say for yourself?" Will asks him pissed off.
Halstead just sits there.
"Get cleaned up if you want to see your wife! She's in the ICU!" Will tells him then walks away.
Halstead puts his hands on his face, he can't believe what he's done.
Shaylynn's his world! He would never cheat on her but if it wasn't for Natalie there's a good chance he would have last night.
He gets up and walks to the bathroom.

~~~~~~

Seeing that his truck was still at Med, Will gives him a ride.
Walking into the ICU, Halstead sees Shaylynn laying in a bed hooked up to all kinds of machines.
He walks over to her room, walks in, and kisses her on top of the head.
Sitting down in a chair his emotions get the best of him and he starts crying.
He hurries and gathers his composure before anyone sees him.

Thirty minutes later, Hank walks into Shaylynn's room, "I figured I would find you here" he says to Halstead, "We need to talk! Let's go for a walk" Hank tells him.
Halstead stands up and follows Hank out of the ICU.
"The guys in the Black Suburban were caught. Those bullets were meant for you!" Hank says, "Seems the associate of Oskar Bembenek still has a beef with you!"
Hearing that the bullets that almost killed Shaylynn were meant for him makes Halstead sick to his stomach to the point he runs off for a bathroom.
A few minutes later, Hank walks in to check on him, "Son, are you alright?" Hank asks through the stall door.
Hank hears the toilet flush. The stall door opens and Halstead walks out over to the sink.
Turning on the faucet he gets his hands full of water and rubs it on his face. He looks up into the mirror and stares at his reflection, then looks at Hank.
"I almost did something last night!" he tells Hank, "And it's eating me up inside!"
Hank looks at Halstead, "What did you almost do?" he asks.
"After I went outside of the ED to get some air I ended up at a bar inside a restaurant having more to drink then I should have. I left with a woman" Halstead tells him.
Hank gives Halstead a glare, "I know what you're thinking but nothing happened! That woman happened to be Natalie. She took me back to her place so I could sober up. Will told me when he arrived Natalie told him what happened and he took me up to one of the spare bedrooms and put me into bed. Believe me, I got an ear full this morning from him!"
Hank shakes his head, "Never the less, you have to tell Shaylynn even though nothing happened! A relationship with secrets will end up imploding on itself!"
Halstead shakes his head, "I want to get her healthy first then I'll tell her."
"Just make sure you tell her! Don't cop out or it will eat at you until you can't take it any longer," Hank tells him.

~~~~~~

A week has gone by.
Shaylynn regains her strength and is discharged.
Halstead helps Shaylynn into the house and over to the couch.
Not wanting the kids to see Shaylynn in the hospital, Halstead told Mary to keep them home. So their excitement to see their Mom home is like a volcano erupting.
They all hurry downstairs and run for the living room, Halstead hears them coming.
"STOP!" he yells at them, "One at a time and be gentle!"
Hearing this Shannara stands beside Shaylynn, "Trinity you go first!" she tells her.
Trinity climbs up onto the couch and gently gives Shaylynn a hug, "Welcome home Mommy!" she says.
This is repeated four more times, then it's Shannara's turn, "Welcome home, Mom!"
Shaylynn smiles at her, "Thank you!" and kisses her on the cheek.
All the kids look at Halstead, "You can go and play!" he tells them.
They all run off in different directions.
Halstead still hasn't told Shaylynn about what happened the night she was shot. Knowing he has to, he decides right now would be the best time.
Halstead sits down on the couch beside her, "There's something I need to tell you," he says to her.
Shaylynn looks at him, "While you were in the ED I was distraught and was told it would be a good idea if I stepped out and got some air. Well, I ended up at a bar in a nearby restaurant. A woman approached me and I went home with her" Halstead tells her.
Shaylynn's expression turns to being pissed off which Halstead sees, "But it's alright! That woman was Natalie! Nothing happened! Will came by after work, she told him what I was doing and he put me to bed!"
Shaylynn shakes her head, "You say it's alright, but it's not! Yes, thank god it was Natalie but that doesn't change the fact what if it wasn't Natalie? You would have gone home with just any woman?!"
"Shaylynn...." Halstead says.
"Jay, please leave! I need to think and I don't want to say anything I might regret out of anger!" she tells him.
Halstead nods, "I'll go to work. Shaylynn, I love you! You're my world!"
Shaylynn doesn't say a word.
Halstead turns and walks out of the living room.
Shaylynn then hears the front door close.
Right about now is when she would change clothes, head to the gym and beat the shit out of her punching bags. But seeing that her body is out of order for the time being she's stuck doing nothing. Until she realizes she 's not stuck doing anything.
She slowly gets up off the couch and heads for the media room.
Walking in she walks over to a corner where there's a huge cabinet. Opening it she reaches on the top shelf and grabs a game.
She walks over to the PS4 and puts in Call Of Duty Black Ops III. Grabbing the controller she walks over and sits in one of the theater chairs and starts playing to get her aggression out.

It's an hour later and Shaylynn's back is getting stiff.
She stands up to stretch and sees something out of the corner of her eye.
Turning around, she sees all of Squad 3 standing in the back of the room.
"Do you ever miss?" Capp asks her surprised.
Shaylynn smiles, "Never!"