DYSPHORIA

11. Preparing For Battle

III

-Finley pov-

"Who's dying now Ashley?"

 Is the first thing I say into the phone as step outside Kaeden's apartment. 

"Christ child, First off, who the fuck gave you permission to use my first name? I raised you, you're my son, and as much as you hoped and prayed for it, I was never a deadbeat dad or anything so what gives you the right to call me by my first name? I'll wait." My papa goes off on a tangent and I let out a long dramatic sigh. 

"Fine Papa! Are you happy now? God, you're not even here in person, but you're still just as embarrassing. What do you want?" I groan and he finally calms down. 

"Nothing Finley. I don't always have to want something when I call you. I just had this strange feeling in my gut that told me to check on you." He says and I relax.

 Sitting on a bench near the edge of Regent's park and taking in whatever sunlight was left on a cold afternoon.

 "Well your intuition was wrong because I am perfectly fine," I reassure him.

 "Finley, you're my baby and I love you very much. My intuition is never wrong and this feeling won't go away. Just be safe okay? Lock yourself up in your room or something," He suggests but I just laugh it off.

 "I wouldn't go that far. Are you sure you're not getting sick? Where's Dad?" I ask, hearing the sound of the ocean in the background. 

"I'm not sick, I know what this is because every time I've felt it something bad has happened to you. And your father is...actually I have no fucking clue. Hmm," he laughs and sounds of the ocean wash through the phone. 

"Where are you anyway?" I ask out of curiosity, feeling like I should be nice for a change. 

"Well...I know you're going to make fun of me, so if you must know I'm laying down on the deck of a boat in the middle of the ocean staring up at the stars and thinking about life. It's making me sentimental, to be honest." he explains.

"Wow Papa, just how gay can you be?" I laugh and he finally laughs back.

"Hey if I wasn't gay, you wouldn't be here so I would shut it if I were you," He says.

"Papa, even if you were me, you wouldn't let it go," I sigh.

"I guess you have a point there," 

We stay quiet for a few moments 

"Papa,"

"Yes?"

"When I get home, can you and dad tell me about the story of your lives,"

"What for? A school project?"

"No, I just want to know for future reference. You know, in case you die or something,"

"Oh god, are we numbering my days already? And here I was thinking I was loved,"

"Shut up papa, you know what I mean. I dunno. Tae and Aiden's passing got me thinking,"

"You should never take your life for granted Finley. We told you the story about how you almost died when you were five right?"

"What?!" 

"Oh, never mind then," 

"Well, you have to tell me now,"

"I don't have to tell you jack shit with that attitude,"

"Why are you so fucking difficult? How does Dad deal with you every day?!" I yell at him and I swear if he could reach through the phone to hit me, he probably would. I calm my voice down before continuing. 

"I think I deserve to know about the time I almost died," 

"I almost died too, but I bet you don't care about that either. Oh and I attempted to divorce your father, but look how that turned out," 

"WHAT?" I choke out in shock while forgetting I was in the middle of a park and the people walking past me stare. 

"Oh yeah, I had rare cancer and got really sick. I didn't want your dad to take care of me so I tried to divorce him. But then the snake of a man became my Intern at the company. I fell in love with him again, we made up then moved back home because your uncle Peter had a cure and yeah. I'm still here. I think our separation for like a year affected you though and I blame myself for that,"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I think that because you were so young and watched our relationship crumble. Like your dad and I lived in two different apartments in the city and you went back and forth every other day. It was really bad. Then one day you went looking for me and almost died when you were hit by a car," 

"I WAS HIT BY A CAR AT FIVE YEARS OLD!" 

"You were never the kind of guy to look twice before you crossed the street. Anyway, I think that we changed your mindset about relationships and you think they'll never be forever or work out. That's why your such a fuck boy. At least that's my theory. Your father has different opinions but he doesn't matter," 

"What do you mean his opinions don't matter? See? This is why I'm such an asshole..." 

A single text message comes to my phone from a number I thought I had blocked. 

"I gotta go take care of something. Okay Papa," I slowly excuse myself as I stand. 

"I still have that stupid feeling so be careful okay?" He reminds me. 

"Yeah sure, love you bye,"

I lower my phone as I stare at the message from Leitus. 

"Meet me at my apt, please, let's talk." 

With a small smile, I tuck my phone back into the pocket of my jacket. Feeling the barrel of one of the guns holstered to my shoulders.

 "I can't wait,"

***********

Shameless plugging ^ 

BTW DID YOU KNOW the hilarious comedy that is the story of Finley's parents is completed and on my page? 

NO?

Well, it's called Freedom and personally, I read it whenever I'm depressed and hate life because it can still make me laugh out loud to this day even though I wrote it and read it 100 times. 

You can also see baby Finley in it! 

*To my theatre friends, Yes. Finley's parents are the idiots who jumped off a bridge*