Champions of a Fallen Age

The Deeper Problem

"Oi, Henry!" At the Goron Chieftain's call, the rugged, blonde-headed man looked up and grinned, raising a hand in greeting as he continued his leisurely pace. "It's about time ya got here, ya lazy bum!"

"Maybe you should leave this blasted Mountain every once in a while, huh?"

"And why would I do that?" Daruk slapped his old friend on the back as Henry finally reached him, causing the short man to stumble forward.

"Every time?" Henry groaned as he stretched his back out.

"What? Should I not give a brother a proper greetin'?"

"I'm not saying that. I just don't want to listen to another lecture from Ellen. She's been so much more uptight since she got pregnant."

"Preganant? What's that mean?"

"Pregnant," Henry corrected as he finished stretching, "it means she's getting ready to have a baby."

"To have a baby? Ya mean ta tell me ya don't grow from crystals like we do?"

"You what?"

"Yeah!" Daruk exclaimed, dumbfounded by Henry's lack of knowledge. "When we're minin' we find these special crystals that will one day grow inta a Goron. Whoever finds the crystal is considered the father, and he has to sleep on top of the crystal. After a while, the thing starts growin' and becomes a Goron," Daruk finished.

"That's not what happens for Hylians at all in fact I don't think that's how it happens for any of the other races"

"Well, how does it happen fer you guys, then?" Daruk asked. He had a feeling that the answer was going to be something absolutely crazy; after all, this was coming from someone who didn't even eat rocks.

"Well," Henry started carefully, his face beginning to redden, "when a man and a woman love each other very much a Rito delivers a baby to them"

Daruk was skeptical of the answer. His first major problem was how the Rito would know it was time for a couple to receive a child as all the ones he had ever met were airheads. It wasn't meant to be an insult to the race, they just seemed to have a problem with basic things like equipping themselves with proper weapons. They liked to carry around those stick throwers and thought that just because they gave them a name like bows, they were suddenly real weapons. Even the dinky little swords they carried around couldn't do much of anything.

The other problem he had was why the Rito would even have Hylian babies in the first place. The only sensible conclusion would be that somehow, they had the means of growing Hylian children. Henry had once told him a story about one of his men who had died because he wanted to prove his manliness by traveling to the Hebra Mountains with no protection from the cold. Now, he would be the first to admit that he wasn't the shiniest of the ore, but he knew that Hylian children would be even more susceptible to the cold then adults were. After all, Goron children couldn't take the same pounding that a fully-grown member of the rock-like race could.

"Henry, ya know I'm not stupid right? How does it reall- "

"I brought you something!" the Hylian interrupted quickly as he reached down by his hip. From a small pouch, he removed a dull colored stone and handed it over to Daruk.

"What is it?"

"A sirloin rock. What does it look like?"

Daruk carefully inspected the stone he held before him. The stone he held was supposedly the rarest of rock delicacies, but something wasn't quite right.

"You're sure?"

"Yep."

Daruk grinned. He had spent an ample amount of time teaching his friend how to identify the best rocks. If Henry said it was a sirloin rock, he'd believe it.