ADRONITIS (II) : tmr minho

5: I could be Trying

Leo 5

Ben has finally stopped screaming when the alarm sounds. It's loud, and we can even hear it echoing up into the rooms of the Homestead. I can hear chatter erupting outside as boys run to the Box. I lean out the window, trying to get a better sight of what's happening.

Everyone is running towards the box.

"Yo, you think there is gonna be a new shucking Newbie already?" I can hear Jeff pounding up closer to me, peaking out the window over my shoulder.

I lean out the frame completely. Clint takes a few seconds to arrive behind us, panting as he does. They had to sedate Ella again, since she had the freak out this morning. I'm happy she didn't attack him; and Alby made it clear that if she does she's being banished.

"Klunk is only getting weirder," Clint sighs, leaning closer into us so he can peer out the window over top of our heads. He lets one of his hands rest on Jeff's waist, and I feel a jealousy I cannot explain.

I wish we could've been like that, but it will never work.

"You tellin' me," he begins, rolling his eyes. "First, we get four shucking girls, one of whom has a brain tumor or some other klunk."

"I meant more recently," Clint adds roughly. I can tell he is doing it for my sake, since he doesn't want me to think I am unwelcome here, but I know I am. Not just because they are shacking either, although that is a large part of it. "And I meant more on the end of the Creators."

"Like Ben getting' stung at the Doors?" Clint asks, leaning over. "Never seen a Griever come that close to the Glade, and I hope I don't ever again. Then, Gally keeps going off about how he definitely recognizes that Greenie, and how we'd be better off to throw him back down the box. Now another Greenie, in two days?"

Jeff intends to ramble on, so I cut him off. "Hopefully it's a cow or something useful."

The two boys pause, as Clint starts snickering. Michelle could use a cow to butcher, give her a helpful place to take out her anger now that she's a Slicer. Apparently, it doesn't matter that Ben is out for the week, Alby is sending her to the Slicers starting now.

"Hopefully it's not our problem," Clint corrects. "Already have my hands full with Ella, Ben, and the Builders every day. I don't need another shank shucking it up."

There is a huge crowd moving around the Box now, with Alby and Newt at the epicenter. The Greenie, Thomas, is standing with Chuck, trying to push through the crowd, trying to get a glimpse. Dawn stands near the middle, with Frankie and Frypan. I imagine Joe is still inside chopping away to food, not really giving much of a shuck about what's going on out here.

"Can we go down and see what the shuck is going on?" Jeff glances over, at Clint. "We've got like, what, twenty minutes before it comes up?"

Dawn spots me and waves at me with gigantic movements. She gestures for me to come down and meet her, and I find my hands waving slightly back and forth. I can't go down though, well I can and I should but I can't keep doing this to myself.

Clint pauses before he finally agrees. Jeff is racing down the stairs, pulling Clint in tow behind him. I follow them slowly, out of pure instinct. My feet find themselves scuffling across the ground. Of course, I want to know what is in the Box, but I can't find the will to join the Gladers. I thought things have been better since I climbed the Wall, and since they saved me from banishment, but it's not.

I mean, there is nothing wrong, but there is nothing right either. When I'm not panicking, the days sort of blur into one and I can't tell the thirteenth day from the thirtieth. It's not quite a month I've been here, that day should be tomorrow, but the problem is I can't tell. Nothing new is happening anymore. I kind of feel (or I guess I don't feel, I know) that there isn't much left.