ADRONITIS (II) : tmr minho

A Pause

Dawn Short

Fry and I cook one final meal. The last bit of the meat he was holding out is in the oven, roasting, and we are just finishing up the salad and potatoes. There won't be any food left after this meal, not that we need it.

"I wish I had known this would be the end." Frankie chuckles, shaking his head. "I would've redone the cling-wrap prank."

Fry drops his knife, and for a second, I think he is going to start chasing Frankie around the kitchen. Instead, he lets a laugh rip through his stomach. It fills the room, tearing down the walls. I can't help but smile myself, even though I still haven't been told what that prank was.

"Dave loved that prank," Frankie smiles, or at least tries to. "Even Joe thought it was funny."

"Joe thought everything was funny," Fry corrects, his lips soft.

It's only been three days, but if the fears about tonight are true, we will be mourning a lot more people tomorrow. If I get killed, two people will die. Me and this baby. It's something I haven't really thought about until now.

"If they could see us now, they'd be happy," I say. "Dave wouldn't want anyone to shed a tear at his funeral."

"Joe was so dramatic," Frankie laughs. "He would've wanted us to mourn him for weeks, crying the whole time."

I like that people's memories live on past them. There will always be stories we can share about Joe and Dave, and as long as these stories live so will they. That's why I'm getting out of here. It's for them. If we stay, they will have died just for us to fail.

There is a knock at the door, and Minho comes in. He looks at me, out of the corner of his eyes, and then turns to Fry.

"Can I borrow her?" Minho asks.

Fry turns to me, cocking his head. It's my choice.

"Yeah," I nod, heading out the door.

Minho doesn't walk very far, before turning around and facing me. We are in the middle of the Glade as boys bustle around and get ready. He doesn't seem to care though. The whole Glade could watch us, and he would still look at me like he does now.

"Are we done?" he doesn't seem to want to know the answer. "Is that it?"

I shake my head. It's too late to argue. I can't let either of us die with so many things unsaid. "I don't want to be. There are just things I can't tell you right now. Things that have been happening."

"Is it about Joe and Zart?" He offers.

It's not about them, but its hard for things not to be about their deaths anymore. Joe would have told me what to do, and he was seconds away. I can feel that happening to Minho next.

"No," I tell him. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. I didn't know what else to do.

He doesn't seem to hear my words. The word no can do that. It is a shotgun ringing in the dead of night, with everything else a whisper. "I just wasn't there for you. I didn't think you'd need me."

I didn't need him for the reasons he thinks. I'm not lonely, and though I may be in mourning, I can survive without him. This is still not the time to tell him I'm pregnant. When we get out of here, and this is all over, I will. He'll know the truth.

"Everything I said to you was a lie," I admit.

His eyes go wide, as he looks back to me. "What's everything?"

"About you not being here for me," I begin, "about not ever wanting you again. About everything."

He turns away for a second, staring out into the Glade. Waiting for an answer to pop up, as though it will come. Nothing makes sense here.