ADRONITIS (II) : tmr minho

21: I could be Loving

Leo 21

I couldn't sleep, so I am up, watching over the sleeping girl. Clint moved Ella back into the room we all sleep in. Michelle didn't come in tonight, and Dawn is sleeping with Minho. Which means, I am alone.

They gave Dawn a strict warning about having any baby Gladers running around. I hope she heeds it. I really don't want that to fall on me. If we are honest, I would end up having to watch after it with her over Minho. He's the Keeper of the Runners.

Maybe Thomas will take over his position by then, but I don't know.

The girl continues to sleep. She muttered Thomas's name again, though she shows no other signs of stirring. Thomas should be going to prison today. I wonder how she knows him. Maybe it is in the same way that Ella knows the pair of them.

"They call her Teresa," Newt steps in the room. He was quiet. I thought I was the only one awake. "Tommy remembered it."

Teresa.

I don't know what to say. My eyes move over to him. He stands, leaning on the doorframe. His whole body raises with his chest. Eyes not meeting mine, I can see the bags underneath them carefully hung. These last few days have been hard on him, and I have been there.

That's because I messed it all up.

"Newt," I don't know how I can make it up to him. He moves closer to me, and my breath hitches, and I forget that I wanted to speak.

"Don't apologise," he brushes past me, moving up to look at Teresa. "I already feel like klunk as it is."

My heart shatters, falling into my knees from deep in my chest. I hadn't expected to make him feel like klunk. When I kissed him, I felt like I had finally finished a puzzle that has taken me my whole life to assemble. Everything seemed to fit together, perfectly. Other than the fact that he is interested in boys.

I thought there was a chance he was like me. Perhaps he liked both girls and boys. Of course, I was wrong. As far as I know, he's in love with the Greenie, Thomas. For all I know, he hates me.

"You did well at the Gathering," he swallows, still avoiding me. "Keepers were talking about how serious you were all day. Really earned their respect."

The Keepers were more preoccupied with wondering who I was shacking. It's not Alby like they think. It's also definitely not Newt. But at least I know why he's here. He came to make sure I wasn't going to leak him.

"I wasn't going to rat you out," I tell him, although there isn't anything to rat him out for. "Gally is shacking Michelle."

"Was," Newt doesn't give Gally a vote of confidence. He didn't come back before the Doors shut, so he probably won't at this point. Maybe he could pull a Thomas, but I don't know. I don't know either of them well enough. Poor Michelle.

"Right."

Newt backs away a bit. Maybe it's from Teresa, or maybe it's from me, but his back hits the wall and he sinks down against the ground. His knees are up, one hand rests in his hair while the other hangs loosely at his side. It looks as if there is no feeling in his body.

"I just wish things could go back to the way they were," Newt remarks, biting his lip. "I wish we could go back to when Nick was alive."

Nick died before I was here. Not much before though since his tomb is nearly as fresh as Stephen's. What was it like before we got here? What was peace like?