ADRONITIS (II) : tmr minho

19: I could be Doing

19 Michelle

I hate being in the Bloodhouses. They are too warm, and too sterile, and they always smell like rotting flesh. Despite all of this, I continue to work away, else face the wrath of Winston when he returns.

There is a hand on mine, shoving the Butcher's knife I'm holding on to the table. I knock my elbow backwards, grabbing the knife and spinning around to see Gally staring at me. He raises an eyebrow at me, waiting for my attack.

I drop the knife, moving over to wash my hand. He's back earlier than I had expected. "I take it they aren't banishing the Greenie."

"Run away with me," his words are careful and clear.

I turn the tap off, flicking water droplets off my hands. They hit the sink, clinking off the metal. I turn back around to face him. His face is redder than usual, and his jaw is in a line. He's serious. Which makes me scoff at his judgement. "Run where?"

"Out there," he points at the door. "If the Greenie can live in the Maze, so can we."

He's gone off his rocker. Gally's been a mess before, but never openly suicidal. "No."

I wait for him to speak again. Seconds tick by, as he stares at me blankly. Sweat stains his shirt and anger his cheeks. If he's waiting for more of an explanation, he is out of luck.

We stand together, only a few feet apart. He stares at me, eyes bugging, chest heaving. If he expects me to follow him, he is out of luck. I don't know what to even say. Things are different after last night. Neither of us can go on and pretend the one doesn't have some sort of feeling for the other. I don't know what mine is, but at the very least he loves me.

At the very least, I feel it too.

Gally runs past me, shoving himself out of the door.

I don't move. Did he seriously just come in here to ask me to leave the Glade, then sprint off when I don't answer? What was he expecting? He's full of it.

There is a sinking feeling in my stomach.

I push my way through the door, out into the open. Gally is gone. My eyes dart around, in time to see him run through the Doors.

Klunk.

I don't know how to move. Instead, I stay still and watch. Gladers begin to move towards the kitchen. They pass by me, but I don't know what to do. Gally ran out into the Maze. He's out there. Is he planning on staying there until the morning?

Will he make it?

"Are you alright?"

Dave is standing in front of me. Waiting for me to say anything. I don't speak, but I also don't feel. It's almost like I'm stuck. The ground has been ripped out beneath me. There aren't words to process it. There aren't thoughts or ideas, but feelings. I want to rip up my skin. I want to tear down the Walls.

I think I just watched Gally die.

Dave feigns moving for me, but he doesn't. He bites his lip, and curses under his breath. He doesn't get to just show up and pretend he didn't explode in my face. He ruined a lot for me. Bridges were burnt because of him.

"Michelle..."

There is no question that follows.

I push past Dave, moving away from him. He follows up beside me, not grabbing my arm, but I shove him away like he was about to. Hurting him in ways I don't know how to hurt someone. I don't know what to think anymore.