Not Quite Sure Yet

Chapter 8

Dear Joey,

I waited in the car park today, for the douchebag. I leant on my bike as he said goodbye to all his friends and ate his girlfriend's face. I watched as he stood there for a few seconds waiting for them to leave. His life was so perfect, Joe. It made me want to vomit. Why not shake it up a bit?

I smirked as I strolled over, and placed my hand down on the blond boys shoulder. Duke jumped, surprised, and his group watched in awe. Smug, I growled.

"You ready to go?" Duke nodded quickly in my direction.  Nicole sneered at me and I smirked back.

"What the hell do you mean 'you ready to go?'. Why would he go anywhere with you, freak?" She screeched, turning towards Cole with one painted eyebrow raised. I chuckled.

"Oh, didn't genius here tell you?" A few people shook their heads. "I'm his tutor." I filled them in with a bored tone, rolling my eyes. "Just call me professor Cole." I added with a bitter chuckle, enjoying golden boys discomfort.

Duke was red, purposely avoiding his girlfriend's angry gaze. And boy, did she look angry. Apparently not telling Nicole things doesn't go down well. A mousy haired boy scoffed.

"Is that what your bus boys call you?" He laughed, receiving a few low giggles from friends. He was obviously a joker.

 I glared at him. "You better stop think about my bedroom antics, or else you will get a bit excited." I growled, raising one eyebrow at his bright red face. More laughs erupted from the gang, the few not joining being Duke, Nicole and her minions. I rolled  eyes at the guys muttered apology. Asshole trying to act smart wouldn't go down well. 

"You ready to go?" I repeated, turning to face Duke. He nodded.

"Yeah sure. I'm following you, right?" I nodded. "Okay, bye guys." He called behind him.

He grabbed my arm and tried to pull me away, before I sharply yanked out of his grasp. I don't like being touched, by anyone.  Duke had parked behind me, and followed my bike in his ridiculously expensive car. I mean, we weren't struggling with money, but I'd heard that Dukes father was the mayor of this shit town. That meant, of course, that the whole family was just brimming with cash. Most kids would probably be embarrassed to show a boy this rich their house, but I don't care. We had a nice house. Sure, not huge, but nice enough.

When we entered the front door, I saw his eyes widen in surprise. I don't know what he was expecting, but it was obviously not this. You know what I'm like, Joe. A place for everything and everything in its place. This means the house is clean and modern, Moms love for simplicity shining through. I waltzed through to the kitchen, hearing his footsteps follow behind me. Obviously he had decided that following me was safe. We hadn't said a word to each other yet, and I was dreading the conversation we would have to make. I'm not good at one on one conversations. I opened the fridge and grabbed the Orange juice, sliding a glass towards Duke. I motion for his to sit down at the table, joining him on the opposing side. I chugged the whole glass down quickly. Nervous drinker. Shoot me.

"So." He started, biting his lip nervously. "You have a lovely house."

"Thank you." I replied. God, the conversation was so awkward, Joey. "When do you want to start?"

"Uh, now, if that's ok with you." Duke said, smiling at me. I nodded and motioned for him to follow me. As we were heading up the stairs, Duke tripped. Stupid, clumsy mother fucker. On impulse, I spin around and grabbed his waist, stopping him from falling face first down the stairs. I could feel his heart thumping hard against arm, and Duke made no effort to move. After realising he hadn't shifted, his fair cheeks flushed pink, and he chuckled nervously. He straightened up and I let go.

"Thanks." He whispered in a low voice. His eyes met my own.

"S'fine." I muttered and started up the stairs again, ignoring the burning feeling in my hand.

A few hours later, we were sat in the study, me leaning over him to try and explain trigonometry to the king of morons. Joey, he just didn't get anything. It's not difficult, yet he cannot understand how to do the easiest of sums. God, Joe, you wouldn't have the patience for this. I haven't lost my temper quite yet, but I'm getting there.

"So you just move x?" Duke asked timidly, looking at me.

I felt bad, although I hadn't done anything wrong. I hadn't yelled at him, hadn't even snapped, kept my patience as I explained it again and again. Duke had no reason to be scared. I nodded and went to sit down. At last, the fucker gets it, I thought. And then I felt bad.

As he scribbled down his workings, I let myself finally really look at him. There was no denying he was an attractive guy. He was muscley in the typical football player way, soft skin stretching over hard muscle when he moved. His blond hair had highlights of gold, and got darker as it reached its roots. His lips were full and he had quite a cute button nose.  But the best thing were his eyes, Joe. They were a clear, crystal blue, the kind that cut right through you. It was kind of creepy, actually, how I felt their innocent colour could see right through my black veil. You would've loved them Joe. Do you remember how that time you saw a guy with those pretty green eyes at the cinema, and asked him of you could take a picture? Well, his were nothing on Dukes. They were purely beautiful.

I'm writing this letter as he works, so as I don't describe his eyes wrong. Even now, I don't feel I have caught the intensity of them, of how they cut right through you. I can see his every emotion in them Joe, like a window to his soul. I can see his aggravation when he didn't understand, I can see his joy when he gets a question right. He's like a child in that way. Pleased by the simplest of things. It's refreshing to see someone who has no past to hide from. Well, it's a relief not to look in the mirror.

I wasn't aware the scratch of his pen on paper had stopped, until he asked quietly. "Who's Joey?"

I turned the paper over quickly. He must've caught sight of the start of my letter. "No one you will ever meet." I snapped.

How dare he ask about you, Joe? He saw the name at the top of the letter and assumed it was ok to ask me about you. Which it's not. I'm not sure if it will ever be okay. I glared at him. Duke sat back down, raising his eyebrows at me. I closed my eyes briefly, taking a deep breath as I calmed myself down. I couldn't get too pissed off with him, he didn't know. I mean, I wanted too, but I shouldn't. I reopened them.

"You done?" I asked, softer this time.

He nodded and I grabbed his paper, starting to mark it. I let myself calm down as I did so, so by the time I had finished, I was nearly back to my previous mood. "Well done. All correct." I said softly.

I left my face emotionless but saw a small smile appear on his when he nodded, try to act nonchalant. He collected his books and threw them into his bag. Duke cleared his throat and looked at the floor.

"I realize I never thanked you. For, um, agreeing to this." I looked up at him, surprised. "I know you didn't have to do this. But I do need this for the football scholarship. And thanks for not being a complete ass about it either, and not telling me I'm thick." His voice was louder than it had been all day and he was gaining confidence with every word. For once I saw the football captain that was loved by everyone, not just the guy scared shitless of me. It was different, Joe.

"Well, you're very welcome. And don't expect to get any nicer," I warned, only half joking. "This is as good as it gets." Duke grinned.

"Oh, I expect nothing more."

“In learning you will teach, and in teaching you will learn.”

Love you, Joey. You better be bloody proud of me.

Cole