Not Quite Sure Yet

Chapter 32

Dear Joey,

He looked me in the eye. "You ready?" I asked, brushing the hair out of his eyes. We were parked on that street again, sat on the bike facing each other. Duke was holding  me gaze with a small smile on his lips.

"Yes." He grinned. "I'm so sick of being unable to hold your fucking hand. Who knew it would be this irritating?"

I chuckled, and Duke grabbed my hand to trace. He found it really difficult to sit still, I'd noticed, so liked to draw pictures in my skin with his fingers. Like I didn't have enough fucking body art.

"Yes." I paused. "Not telling people has definitely been frustrating."

He rested his forehead against my own, still smiling like an idiot. "Its only been a week." He laughed. "I feel so pathetic."

It's true. It had only been a week since 'that conversation', and I already wanted to burst with frustration. We hadn't acted any differently at school since becoming, well, official, I suppose. We had told Blue who was, of course, filled with teasing. But I think she's okay with it, really. She seems to just beam whenever she catches us looking at each other, and she dragged Duke off for a mystery 'talk' the other day. That freaked the fuck out of me. But apart from that, we told no one, did nothing.

However last night, we decided to just act how we want to, display affection as we wish. Fuck them. So no, being as desperate as we are is not pathetic.

"Its not pathetic, baby," I told him, watching his smile grow at the nick name.  "to want to be honest with people. To not want to hide. That's not pathetic."

I brushed his cheek with my hand, before ducking forward to press my lips to it, quickly. Duke shuddered, and I smirked. Silly, horny boy.

I paused. "Are you sure you want to do this?" I whispered. I didn't want him to be uncomfortable, or get any shit for this. I wanted him to be happy, and if this made him unhappy, I would personally beat the shit out of the motherfuckers who ruined it. They would no longer have use of their mouths to ruin things with, I assure you.

"What?" Duke asked, surprised. Then, realization filled his features, and he grabbed my waist and pulled my closer than I thought was possible. "I want this more than anything. Fuck them, remember? I want to be able to hold your hand, stare at you, kiss you. And they're not fucking ruining this for me." He finished. Filled with emotion, I forcefully pressed my lips onto his, pouring everything I had into the kiss. Duke kissed me back passionately, tugging my hair while I held him close. Because I wanted him to stay close, preferably forever.

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We pulled up as we usually would. Duke rode on my bike with me everyday, so people have gotten used to that I suppose. I mean, we still get the disappointed looks, but no one really whispers anymore. I felt for certain that was about to change.

I stopped off the bike, taking my helmet off and extending my arm to help Duke up. He accepted it gratefully, brushing his thumb over the back of my hand comfortingly. Taking a deep breath, I looked at Duke and nodded, not letting go of his hand for once. We started to walk away from the bike, hands intertwined. I watched a redheaded girl point to our hands and whisper to her friend, and soon everyone in the parking lot was staring and talking, making huge hand gestures and ridiculous expressions. I squeezed Dukes hand, and he looked over as I smirked and mouthed;

'Nosy fuckers'. He laughed loudly, throwing his head back. I chuckled with him, watching everyone else look at us with frowns, confused as to why we were so happy. We're gay, gay is happy. Everybody knows that.

We walked through the doors, Blue waiting patiently at my locker. I shot her a smirk, watching her eyes blown at the stares and glares we were receiving. The corridor was silent. Duke was looking at me with humour in his eyes, lips pursed whilst holding in laughter. I suspected my expression mirrored his, and I found myself just looking at Duke while everyone looked at us.