Sotus: Love and Marriage (Complete)

"It's okay, I'm here"

~~Kongpob's POV~~

I sat in my office thinking about what happened in the morning between Arthit and I. Why didn't I say 'yes'? I had always thought about marrying Arthit, even from our early stages of dating. Thus, I have been avoiding Arthit. I just couldn't face him. I felt like crying every time I looked into his eyes.

I have been having doubts about 'our relationship', no about 'me' for a couple weeks now. It wasn't only because of what happened at the charity event but also my meeting with 'her'.

~~Flashback~~
I was in my office doing a run through of important documents when I got a phone call. The number wasn't saved in my phone.

"Hello, who am I speaking to?" I didn't want to give them my name.

"Hello? Is this Kongpob?" I heard from the other side. It was a female's voice.

"Who am I speaking to?" I ignored their question.

"Kongpob, this is Praepailin, how are you?"

Then I remembered. Praepailin was a junior from university. She had a crush on me but I gently rejected her.

"Oh, Praepailin, I'm fine, how are you?" I asked.

"I'm doing good Kongpob," she replied.

There was an awkward silence before I asked her, "Why are you calling me?" Praepailin gave a nervous laugh and replied, "I just wanted to meet up.....as friends." I was a bit suspicious of her request but I agreed as everyone deserves a second chance. We arranged to meet at Palatial Spot, a restaurant, when I was finish with my current task.

.........................................
I entered the restaurant and immediately found Praepailin sitting at a window seat. I seemed to be overdressed because I was in an Armani suit and everyone there was either out for lunch or hanging out. Oh well. I walked over to Praepailin and greeted her,"Praepailin, you haven't changed a lot at all," I said.

She smiled and replied,"Neither have you, you are still as handsome and charming as you were in university." I pondered over her words for a bit, my face showing confusion. Did she still like me? I didn't want her to think that she could have a chance with me because honestly, she was never relevant in my love life. My heart rate only sped up when My Sun smiled and she caused him to stop smiling for a period of time.

We were soon interrupted when a waiter came to take our order. I ordered a chicken pasta salad with water and Praepailin ordered a regular salad with orange juice. After taking our orders, the waiter left.

"Praepailin, what's the real reason you wanted to see me?" I got straight to the point. I learnt that prolonging things would only make the situation worse. If she still liked me, I would have to reject her again.

Praepailin shuffled nervously in her seat and was silent. After a few minutes she finally breathed out,"AreyoustilldatingArthit?Istilllikeyou."

"What? Speak slower," I told her.

"Are you still dating Arthit? I still like you," she finally said. I was surprised. After over three years, she still likes me? Gosh, talk about not taking hints. I don't like you! I admit, I'm a little meaner but that's only because she wouldn't stop approaching me in university, even when she knew that I was dating Arthit.

"I'm still dating Arthit," I didn't need to say anything else. She knew what it meant if I was still dating Arthit.

Her eyes scanned my entire face before she said,"Don't you want children? Arthit can't give you that."

"I can always adopt," I spat out. She was really overstepping her boundaries. So much for food, I'm not hungry anymore.

I was leaving the table when she said that something that made me freeze.

"Think about Arthit, wouldn't he want children? You're being a burden. Let him go." I didn't reply, I just kept walking, her words replaying in my head, they wouldn't stop. Was I really a burden? I often see Arthit staring at children with a loving gaze. Would he want one of his own? His own flesh and blood and not someone else's?

I returned to work that day and smiled at My Sun but I was hurting on the inside.

~~End of Flashback~~

Kongpob's chain of thoughts was disturbed by Arthit reminding him that he had a meeting with other CEOs in five minutes. Kongpob then proceeded to the board room. Arthit would gather all the necessary documents.

......................
The meeting went fairly well as Kongpob got the four CEOs to sign the contract. The four other CEOs were young like Kongpob and often times he went to drink with them. The presentation was just for formalities. Of course, Kongpob avoided Arthit like a plague. He felt guilty for rejecting the older man. He never once made eye contact with his lover like he usually would and Arthit noticed this.

It was now time to pack up and go and home. Kongpob and Arthit were in the elevator, an awkward silence filling the air. Kongpob didn't try to tease the older man and simply stood away from him. Arthit was trying to be understanding and give Kongpob some space even though he didn't know what was wrong with his lover but Kongpob didn't show any sign of speaking to him.

Finally, Arthit got sick of Kongpob's behaviour. He pushed Kongpob up against the wall and kissed him hard. Kongpob tore Arthit off and the older man was hurt. "Why are you ignoring me? Is it about this morning? Kongpob, I was hurt by that but I'm not angry. Why are you doing this?" Arthit bombarded Kongpob with questions.

Kongpob just turned away, not meeting his lover's eyes. "Kongpob, look me in the eyes.......NOW," Arthit commanded. The head-hazer Arthit was speaking now and Kongpob had to obey. Kongpob's eyes slowly met Arthit and he looked like a lost puppy, but Arthit wasn't having it.

"Tell me what's going on inside your head," Arthit said even though he knew that he would not get an answer right away. He was wrong. Kongpob spilled out all his his insecurities and doubts to his P'. It was as if he was waiting for Arthit to ask.

Kongpob told him all about Praepailin, Mr. and Mrs. Tuthiluck and his own insecurities and doubts generated by these events. By the time Kongpob was finished talking, he was a crying mess and was leaning on Arthit's shoulder. Kongpob however, kept chanting one thing, over and over again. He said,"I love you P', I want to get married, don't leave me."

The elevator had opened a long time ago but no one dared to step in when they saw their boss and his lover, neither did they try to eavesdrop when they saw Kongpob crying. Arthit stepped out of the elevator slowly, his eyes wet and running tears as well.

Everyone in the main lobby was dead silent. They all turned away from the couple as they felt that they were intruding on something very personal. Arthit continued walking with Kongpob dangling from his shoulders. Arthit drove them home and got Kongpob cleaned up.

They soon found themselves holding each other in bed. Kongpob was sleeping while Arthit was wide awake stroking his head gently. Arthit was both happy and sad. He was happy that Kongpob told him all his deepest worries, said that he wanted to get married but he was also sad because Kongpob had all these things pent up in him. The Kongpob that always smiled and teased him was suffering on the inside.

Kongpob stirred a bit and whimpered. He seemed to be having a nightmare. Arthit just calmly whispered into Kongpob's ear,"It's okay, I'm here." Kongpob stopped moving and Arthit soon followed Kongpob to dream land.

They slept soundly listening to each other's heartbeat.

\\This is the end of the chapter. It's the longest chapter I've written (1356 words)
I don't know what direction I want this story to go in. Please tell me if I'm going too fast. I'll slow it down. //