Confessions

190 "Sequel: Wala na. Finish na" (Never a love story)

//Fb page: De La Salle University - Dasmariñas Secret Files

Sequel: Wala na. Finish na. (never a love story)

I'm brave. I know that to myself. I have faced a lot of trials in life and survived them. What more with just a heartache caused by a boy. I thought your a man but you acted like a boy. I thought your experiences in life made you a better man but I thought wrong.

When you asked for a chance and I said YES.  I thought "ohmyghad! this is it" hahaha! You then asked me if I'm now ready. (sweet)  I thought you mean if I'm ready to see your genuineness and all. For you to prove your love to me but I thought wrong. Very wrong. You were just in love with the idea of being in love but never to me.

Yes, I'm hurt. Who wouldn't be? With my whole existence, you are, you were the 1st guy whom l let my guard off. But what happened? You just ignored me after that one Sunday night. You asked me until when will I answer you that Sunday night and on the next Sunday you'd be on a relationship with someone else. You are really good for nothing. None of your promises came true. Well, what would I expect? I don't really know you that much. Maybe I'm hurt because I have my hopes up that you were serious even though I keep on telling to myself that your just joking. And true! You just did.

To everyone: If you feel like you are being played, You probably are. -Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

I would have not be hurt like this if you just said goodbye. At least I know what's happening. But you played me. You made me a fool. I'm sick. I'm disgusted.

Going back.. after that Sunday night and I decided not to message you anymore since you ignored my last 2 messages, I know to myself that its already finish. But.. when you can't keep on thinking why someone would stop messaging you.. that sucks. Again, I tried my luck and send you another message after the last 2 was ignored. And miracle happened haha! You've seen my message but I was seenzoned. Ouch! And there I sent my farewell message. A short one that I will be no longer messaging you and you just seened it and that's it. No reply or any explanation.

A friend of mine then told me which was shared to Her by someone that you already have a girlfriend. What I thought? That fast??? What happened? Like you were just asking me days ago when will I answer you and here comes the news that you have a girlfriend. I have a lot of questions wherein my friend cannot answer me too. But I have accepted the fact already that you just made fun of me. Realizations then hit me, maybe you were challenged with the chase because I never gave you a chance at first. And your quotation was you were friend-zoned by me.

And then Sunday comes. You posted on FB that your in a relationship. And I'm not surprised. I see that coming. And you know what? I wasn't hurt that much. That made me more surprised. Maybe because I never loved you. The right word would be infatuation. Maybe I was in-love with the feeling too that you were chasing me... at first. Haha! Were quits though.

I'm happy that there are people who cares about what I am feeling. One person asked me to go out.. that's very unusual because were not close and we never have any conversation but you two are. I know that this person has something to tell me because his the source of my friend who told us first that you have a girlfriend even before you posted it on FB. Yes, I agreed to meet up with Him. And I was not mistaken. We talked about you. About how you made me of a fool. About how used you are in making up lies. About how jerk you are. Why? When you dated me you already have a girlfriend. (His not sure though) But if that's not the case, you still courted us at the same time. Your the worst! You just didn't fool me but your girlfriend as well. And you made yourself the biggest fool. I'm blessed that I'm not blinded by the truth. I hope for the best for your girl, for the both of you.

And then you and my friend talked, and you made me feel bad about myself. You said "You don't have to explain yourself." Why not? You disturbed my life. I let you in and then you would do that to me? I'm fine with that. Again, I will still not hate you. What I'm feeling right now is relieved that I don't have to acquaint myself with you. You don't deserve me. One day, someone will walk into my life and will make me see why it never worked out with you. Some chapters just have to close without closure.

PS: After 11 days from that Sunday night when we had our last conversation, we meet again. We we're in one car with me on the front seat and you two with your girlfriend and my friend at the back. I never had the guts to see your girl's face in person. Yeah, I heard Her voice at the back but never seen Her face. And with you, with the whole trip, I never glanced at you but I can keep up with the conversation with everyone. I cracked jokes and you even laugh. You call my name and I don't. But I'm being civil with you. And my heartbeat was normal. I don't feel awkwardness (I swear!) And why would I? I'm not the one whose been a jerk. You had your chance and you blew it away. I just really don't want to talk to you. I have self respect too. That's the least thing I can give to myself.

That day, We parted ways. That's my closure.

Self Realization: My heart is at peace now. I met you for a reason. It's either you came to change my life or I'm the one who will change yours.

The girl,
that you will never have.

Visitor.