Confessions

179 "Wala na, Finish na"

//Fb page: De La Salle University -Dasmariñas Secret Files

Wala na. Finish na.

I thought we first saw each other in one of that room in the second floor of our working place. (But not in your case, because you saw me first outside of our training room) You introduced yourself and exchanged shake hands. I felt nothing at all. You keep on bugging me after, in a way that makes me want for it more. You gave me support that makes my heart melt. You showed me what you feel about me. You asked if you can court me. I said no. Cause I don't find it serious. You asked for a date I still said no. You tell me a brief story about yourself. You add me on Facebook. You send me sweet messages. You asked again for a chance. I know to myself that I feel something already towards you. Hell, I'm super scared to say YES. Saying yes is like my lifeline to let someone know that you may hurt me anytime. Because you'll be the first man I would allow to really court me. You were the first man whom I gave a chance. We had our first date, we agreed to meet in SM at 3pm. I feel nervous, excited and all. I can't suppress my emotions. It's like I will explode anytime. I arrived in SM 7 minutes before 3pm. I'm not the type of girl who'd love to make someone wait but I don't want to let you know as well that I'm already there. I planned on just telling you that I just arrived once you're in the place. I enjoyed myself reading in National Bookstore. And you messaged me not until 3:49. See? I remembered everything so that if we don't end up I will never regret it. Note: When I woke up that day, I saw that you were online and I thought that you'll arrive on time, same reason why I went there on time. Even 7minutes early. For some reason, I went home. At home, I still waited and hanging on to a chance that we'll still have this date push through. And yeah, we had our date. We ate dinner, had some fun in the "World Of Fun" how irony. This is just for fun, I think for you. We watched the last full show movie. You held my hands for the first time. I felt uneasy but genuinely happy at the same time. Fast forward: You rarely messaged me after. We only had few long conversations. You asked for others number but never mine. That hurts me. That made me think. After a week from our first date. We meet again, you asked me until when will I answer you. I think it's too fast for you to asked me that. You said it's not the courting that should take long but the relationship. I understand that. But I'm honestly not yet ready. Glad, you respected it. Before we separate ways, you hugged me. That made me smile. The next day, we had another conversation. The last one. That was one Sunday night. Before that, I went to church and the gospel of the lord is "If you love someone set them free. If He/She comes back then you two are meant for each other. But if not, someone is written for you." I think, God sends me signs without me really knowing at all.
Fast forward again: it's been 48 hours since that Sunday and you never messaged me again. I have my pride as well but I can't help but to message you. I did, once and twice. My message was never seen. Another sign maybe. I can't get enough of signs. I asked lord to give you a chance and wait for any message from you for another 24hours but you never did. This is it. Ours has not even started yet but it all ends now. I was thinking on taking a risk but thank you for making me realize that your not worth the risk. To the boy who put me down: Next time, profile a girl that you want to play with. Happy that the girl you choose to played with has a brave heart and soul. You may broke Her but not for a while.

Ps: I'm documenting what happened to us because feelings and emotions are best expressed in writing.

I'm finally setting myself free from the trap you first created.

Lastly, I sincerely hope and wish that you find the right match for you in no time. I heart fully think that you deserve to be happy. I may not know you that long but hearing your stories made me think that I should not hate you but make you an inspiration. A lesson that I will never forget. Thank you for being part of my life.

The Girl,
you never had 😂💙

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