'Mum, just go away.' Cory didn't even look at her, he just kept his eyes on his piano keys.
'It'll be good for you to g-'
'Mum, I said c-'
'Alright alright I'm going!' She held her hands up and chuckled then walked back into the other room. Cory wanted to be alone, well just him and his thoughts. Within him it was as though fire had engulfed his heart and was burning it to its core. Cory felt hate for his father for being a coward, he looked up to him as though he was a god, his role model. He was who Cory imitated and studied because he had wanted to be just like him. But it was all a lie.
Family first.
Cory Senior had broken his own rule. So none of his other rules were longer valid. Everything he had taught him, Cory would now disregard. He wanted to cry because not only did the pain of his sister's death feel as fresh as though it had just happened, but he felt so unloved, neglected and he regretted the way he'd idolised his father. He wanted to cry because every one of his father's actions had had a consequence, one being the way he'd turnt out. He was ill. And it had affected everything. He wanted to cry because he knew he had been so lost and didn't know for how much longer he would be. He wanted to cry but he wouldn't waste his tears on his father or pains of the past.
Instead, he would use all his pent up emotion to make things better with himself, his mother, Zaire and his friends.
He took a long breath and let the notes on the piano take him to a better place.
He had always thought it was peculiar that his mother and Zaire always saw the goodness in him, despite the fact that his actions said otherwise. He enjoyed power, using people, intimidating them with little effort, hurting people and such. He thought about Lexy, true, he had grown fond of her but he couldn't have cared less that she'd got caught and was now in prison. It didn't affect him that he was the cause, and also the fact that she was addicted to drugs and was in prison which would surely ruin her. Her life was a mess because of her involvement with him but that didn't bother him. That was the scary thing - the coldness that Cory possessed towards most people.
He was a silent terror. He could be the quietest person in the room but he would never go unnoticed. His presense was so loud for someone who didn't talk much.
Two of his phones continuously vibrated on the bed but he ignored them.
'When am I gonna stop hurting?' Cory felt like he was standing on his last leg, how much could one person take? Part of him felt it was only a matter of time until he completely lost his sanity. Sometimes it felt like the world was a big black pit to him, everyone else lived in the sunshine but he was segregated and couldn't ever get to where they were. He was just and alone and scared in this black hole. He could handle it but that human part of him, the vulnerable little boy just wanted to be taken care of and loved.
He shruged of the feeling of self pity. He felt a part of him that still loved his father and hurt because he wished his father had cared more. Vulnerable little boy who just wanted love. But Boost came to his sense and replaced that feeling with pure loathing. Because he'd lost his sister, and now his father he felt like he'd lost hope. How could he fathom such a feeling when he looked at how his life had turned out?
The difference between Cory and his father was that Cory Senior had acted like a man who had nothing to lose. Its had to be a gangster when you have a family and loved ones. Cory could act how he wanted as he had nothing to lose or so he thought. Maybe now things were different. It made him feel uneasy that his mother was back in London, his medication may have felt him to sleep a little better but they did nothing for his paranoia.
