When You Need Me (Larry/Ziam)

I Think Of You

*Warning: Mature Language*

*Flashback*
"I don't like her Harry, why are you dating her?" Louis poked his toe at Harry's foot under the table as they sat in Harry's kitchen drinking tea.
It was the morning after a red carpet event and Louis always crashed in Harry's guest room after. The after party had been wild, and Louis had been drinking more than usual. Niall and him were playing a drinking game they had just invented: take a shot every time Kendall and Harry expressed over the top public affection. The game only lasted about 25 minutes because Louis was on the verge of getting wasted.
Louis didn't actually hate Kendall, she was a really cool girl, but she was so affectionate with Harry that it made Louis want to vomit. He hated witnessing couples showing PDA.
"Louis, I don't need your permission to date someone. Besides, I didn't like Danielle, but I still got along with her for your sake." Harry countered back with a light shove of his foot back at Louis. Harry wasn't mad though, Louis could get away with saying pretty much anything to him.
"That's because you're a good person. I just don't know how Kendall is your type. She's so concerned with her image, and you couldn't care less about yours. Also her family is fucking crazy, how do you put up with that?" Louis had brought this point up many times, but Harry just shrugged. Louis continued, knowing Harry wouldn't get mad at him for talking shit about his girlfriend's family. "I mean her mom literally grabbed your ass last night like four times last night. I know because Niall and I took a shot every time she did." Niall and Louis played a lot of drinking games last night. They had to space them out so Louis wouldn't get shitfaced, after all he was a lightweight. They also took a shot every time Liam glared at Perrie.
"Her family is kinda odd, but I like her so leave her alone." Harry feigned offense, but Louis knew he wasn't upset. Louis put his hands up in surrender as he stood from the table and went to make himself another cup of tea. He pointed to Harry's cup, silently questioning if he wanted more. Harry shook his head and leaned back farther in his chair.
"She must be really good in bed for you to be able to put up with all that shit." Louis joked as he poured a cup, making sure to leave plenty of room for milk and sugar. Harry scoffed from his chair at Louis' comment.
"She's a great person, that's how I put up with it." Harry stood up from his chair and stood across from Louis, leaning on his kitchen island. Louis turned around after putting the milk in his tea. He took a sip from his cup then scrunched up his face at Harry in confusion.
"Wait, is that your way of saying she's not good in bed?" Louis questioned, his expression changing from confusion to amusement. Harry's face went slightly red and he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.
"Um, actually we haven't slept together yet." He seemed almost embarrassed, Louis didn't see what there was to be embarrassed about, but that wasn't gonna stop him from teasing. Harry avoided eye contact, finding interest in his slippers instead.
"You're dating Kendall Jenner and you haven't slept with her?" Louis was honestly a bit surprised, he knew Harry usually didn't have sex with people when he first started dating them, but with the way they acted in public, Louis assumed they were sleeping together.
"Sex isn't the only thing that matters in a relationship." Harry had always thought that, and Louis agreed, but it was still a really fun part of dating.
"It's not, but like you've been with her for like two months. What's the hold up? I mean if I were her and was dating the sexiest guy on the planet, I'd fuck him after three dates." That comment made Harry suddenly lose interest in the floor and snap his head up to look at Louis. His infamous smirk was present on his face, all traces of embarrassment gone.
"I'm sorry what? Did you just refer to me as the sexiest guy on earth? And then say you want to fuck me?" Now it was Louis' turn to be embarrassed.
"No, I was being hypothetical. I was just trying to make a point." Louis was looking everywhere but at Harry. He didn't really know why he said that, he was trying to be funny. He already knew Harry wasn't about to let this go.
"So you don't think I'm sexy?" Harry was definitely not going to let this go. Louis sighed, knowing Harry was going to make this difficult.
"Everyone thinks you're sexy Harry, it's no big deal." It was true that Louis found Harry sexy, could you really blame him though? Louis tried to look as bored with the conversation as possible, wanting it to end fast.
"Does everyone want to fuck me as well?" The smirk on Harry's face was absolutely ridiculous and Louis could do nothing but roll his eyes.
"Yeah, of course everyone wants to fuck you. Look at you!" No point in dancing around it, everyone wanted to sleep with Harry. If they said they didn't they were lying. You didn't have to be interested in men to want Harry to have his way with you.
"So everyone wants to fuck me then?" Louis wasn't sure where Harry was going with this. He had literally just said that.
"That's what I just said idiot." Louis flicked Harry off, but there was really no malice behind it.
"So you weren't being hypothetical." What was happening.
"Yes I was, I just said that as well." Obviously what he said was for a hypothetical situation. It's not like Louis would actually sleep with Harry, even if a small part of him wished he could.
"So hypothetically you want to fuck me?" Harry had obviously never heard the term 'let it go.' This conversation was probably about to go around in circles for 15 minutes.
"No." He low-key, non-hypothetically wished he could have sex with Harry. But he wasn't going to admit that.
"So you want to non-hypothetically fuck me?" Harry's smirk could literally not get any wider. The fucking bastard.
"No!" Lies.
"Louis you said you hypothetically would fuck me if you were her. Then you said everyone wants to fuck me. You fall in the category of everyone, so therefore you just said you want to fuck me." Louis couldn't actually deny that logic. That was exactly what had happened.
"I'm done with this conversation." He didn't know what else to do then just leave the room, knowing Harry wasn't fished with this. So that's what he did, he set down his cuppa and started to leave the room, shaking his head comically as he went.
"Admit it. Say you just said that you want to fuck me." Louis stopped half way to the entrance to the hallway. He thought about it for a second then replied,
"If I do will you leave me alone?" He turned to face Harry again, slightly startled when he realized Harry was standing closer.
"Yes." Well, if that's what it took to end this conversation then he would admit it.
"Then fine, I want to fuck you." Harry looked amused. "Actually, if we're being honest I want you to fuck me, alright there I said it. Leave me alone now." Alright, that last part wasn't supposed to come out. Louis' eyes went wide and he mentally kicked himself for basically telling him that he wanted Harry inside of him. Louis was sure Harry would just be amused, but instead, Harry looked like the air had been kicked out of him. Louis almost wished he didn't notice Harry's eyes going darker. Almost. Louis now wished he had left the room earlier.
"You want me to fuck you?" Harry spoke in a whisper as if it were a dark secret. Come to think of it, it kind of was. Louis was never going to be able to live this down.
"You said you'd leave me alone if I told you. I told you, so now you have to stop talking about it."
"Did you just say that to get me off your back? Or is it true." Harry looked as if his life depended on the answer. Louis had no idea why he said what he said next, he could have easily lied and said he didn't mean it.
"It's true okay. I have no romantic interest in you whatsoever, but you're hot and I'm not blind. And I also have needs so sue me if I think of you when I'm alone." Yeah, he really should have just lied.
"Fuck." Harry bit his lip, making Louis question his entire existence.
"What?" Louis wanted to disappear. This conversation was getting out of hand. Harry took a step closer, Louis wanted to run out of the room.
"You think of me when you get off?" Harry should have been creeped out, or disgusted, but instead he seemed to be turned on. Fuck, Louis didn't need to know how Harry looked when he was turned on. Why was Harry talking that way? The way you would talk to someone you're trying to seduce. IT was like he wanted to make Louis squirm. The room felt like it was getting warmer and warmer every second and Louis was pretty sure the blush on his face was now permanent.
"I am not having this conversation anymore." He again made his way for the door, but Harry started talking, so he stopped.
"I don't want to fuck Kendall. That's why we haven't had sex. I'm not into her that way. She just doesn't do it for me. And it's really frustrating because everyone is always saying how hot she is and I think she's really pretty, but even when I'm snogging her, I can't get into it. I don't even think of her when I touch myself." Wow. Another visual Louis didn't need, but he knew the image of Harry jerking off would haunt him tonight.
"I feel like you probably shouldn't have told me that." Actually, Harry really shouldn't have told him that. What the fuck was going on?
"I think of you." Okay, that was unexpected.
"What?" Louis had no other words.
"I think of you when I touch myself." Louis felt like the room was on fire, his blush was probably covering his entire body right now. Louis knew he should put this conversation to a stop, but he was curious to see where this was going. He had obviously never heard Harry talk like this, and it fascinated him to learn of Harry's dirty side. That was probably not healthy.
"Oh my god stop talking!" This needed to end, before Louis did something stupid.
"I'm sorry I just thought you should know." He should't know that Harry thinks of him when he gets off. He shouldn't know what Harry's bedroom eyes look like. He shouldn't be turned on right now. This was his best mate. His best mate who was a man. His best mate who had a girlfriend.
"You have a girlfriend Harry." Harry suddenly looked really guilty. He took a step back, shaking his head.
"I know, and I feel bad about it but I can't help where my thoughts go." Valid point.
"Yeah, but you can help what you tell me." Another valid point. Harry shouldn't have said all of that. In only a few minutes, Harry had supplied Louis' dirty mind with enough fantasies to last the rest of his life.
"You just told me the same thing." Fuck, he had a point there. However, this was different. Louis had made a passing comment that he immediately regretted, but there was really no harm, he didn't have a girlfriend. But Harry had actually crossed a line.
"Yeah, but I'm not in a relationship. And now that I know you think about me like that, it makes me want you to fuck me even more." No one could ever say Louis was a liar. "But I can't sleep with you because you have a girlfriend. Also you're my best mate and band member so it would really make everything awkward." Harry all the sudden no longer seemed guilty. His face went serious and his pupils were dilated again. He stepped closer to Louis and put his mouth to Louis' ear.
"That's a shame. I really want to fuck you." Harry whispered in Louis' ear and then pulled back, taking a step back before staring at Louis' lips and biting his own. Louis was on fire. He almost wished Harry would just fuck him here on the kitchen floor. He needed to get out of the room right now. He needed to take a cold shower and forget this ever happened. Well, maybe he would have a wank and then forget this ever happened.
"And I really want to stop having this conversation. Please stop talking before I actually let you kiss me." Louis turned around to leave for the third time.
"Where are you going." Could Harry just stop fucking talking and let him leave.
"To have a shower." And to regret everything that lead up to this conversation.
"And a wank?" Harry raised his eyebrow in question. Damn bastard.
"Fuck you." Louis flicked Harry off again. He was almost starting to get angry at Harry. Maybe he should be angry at himself too.
"You're gonna think of me aren't you?" Son of a bitch, was this ever going to end.
"No." Lie.
"You're going to imagine me touching you aren't you?" Harry bit his lip again, and Louis hated himself for taking a mental picture.
"No I'm not!" Another lie.
"Are you gonna finger yourself and wish it were my fingers." Yes he probably was, he did it all the time, but he'd be damned if he admitted to that.
"What the fuck. Stop talking." This was a very cruel world.
"I wish I could watch. Wanna see you touch yourself." Louis' brain didn't know how to process that statement. Louis had no idea Harry could talk so dirty. He needed to leave the room now before he actually granted Harry's wish.
"For the love of God Harry, all I said was I sometimes thought of you that way. How could you say all of that to me when I can't have you? You're being really fucking cruel right now." Louis was so distraught. If he hadn't wanted Harry to fuck him before, he really did now. Louis had quite probably never been more turned on in his life, but he couldn't ever have Harry and it fucking sucked. All he wanted was a quick fuck, but he couldn't even have that. Harry had backed away from Louis and looked really embarrassed and almost ashamed. As he should be. Harry sat back down at the kitchen table, starring at his hands.
"I'm sorry. You're right I crossed a line. God I'm a terrible person aren't I? I'm dating a beautiful, sweet girl who really like mes me, yet I'm hitting on you. I'm really sorry Lou, I wasn't trying to be cruel or rub it in your face that you can't have me. I couldn't help it, You're so fucking hot and I hate that I think about you that way. You're my best mate, I would never put that at jeopardy. Especially not for some meaningless sex." Louis actually felt bad. He hated when Harry thought he was a bad person. He hated when Harry was upset.
"You're not a terrible person Harry, you're the best person I know. But maybe if you're not attracted to Kendall in that way, and you're having thoughts about someone who isn't her, then you should probably do what's right and break up with her." Louis wanted to add that if he broke up with her, they could sleep together. Just once though. Just to get it out of their systems.