The Mystical Awards 2.0 July Reviews

Teen Fiction : Lost

Book name: Lost

Genre: Teen Fiction

Contestant name: regulus_black717

Judge Name: MusicReader92

Cover: 0.45/1

The cover is kind of hard to read, the font definitely needs to be bigger. After squinting a little, I was able to see that it said "lonely... empty... numb..." I feel like those three words just don't go together very well, they don't sound right either, but it does match the title and description. I also think that the picture fits the title and description perfectly, but it just needs more to it. I personally find the cover bland, it needs something else. I think the cover should be darker in colors and tones, perhaps in black and white to fit the title and to catch the readers eye a little more. Also, make the title and subtitles the focal point, draw them to it more. If I walked by this book in a library or bookstore, I would probably not pick it up, as it didn't pique my curiosity.

Title: 0.85/1

I think the title fits your description perfectly, but I feel like the it's not much to it. It works perfect for the story, but I feel like you could make it better, by taking the next step. The title states the obvious, the main character is lost. Okay, that's a start. What you want it to do us imply a deeper meaning and will pique your readers interest more, so that's something you could work on.

Description: 0.7/1

The description felt really choppy to me. I think you were trying to give it meaning and feeling, which I do get, but I felt like you overdid it too much. Let the description flow. I also think you should add a bit more to the description... who wants him dead? Introduce the Imperials? And also the disclaimer confused me very much, because isn't that a given?

Beginning: 1.6/2

You have maybe 500-600 words per chapter, and for me that isn't enough. it definitely needs more description. What were they doing? Why were they breaking in? Who was chasing them? Who are the imperials? You do describe the characters and the setting well, but take it the next step further. Usually when I'm writing, my chapters end up between 1,500-2,500 words each chapter, because of how much I describe things and add to the settings. Also, I feel like the support characters need a little work. There isn't too much too them, and they were added in all at once. Introduce them slowly, and give each of them a unique backstory. If they are going to be just background characters, don't name them then. I really do like the plot idea with whatever the Imperials are, but I feel like the love story is a bit cliche and there isn't much too it (at least in the beginning), so add more to it to give their love some character. No one's relationship is super easy, so add progression as you keep writing, add conflict between them. From how much I read, I didn't understand how the title fit what was inside, maybe when you finish it it will, so make sure you find a way to incorporate that. Grammar was overall really good, there was just one sentence out of all I read that didn't quite flow, so just make sure you re-read through what you wrote before you publish to make sure that everything flows. You definitely left me at a spot where I want to read more of it, so good job with the suspense!

Total: 3.6/5