The Mystical Awards 2.0 July Reviews

Chick Lit For His Sake

Book name: For His Sake

Genre: Chicklit

Contestant name: lily97000

Judge Name: MusicReader92

Cover: 0.8/1

I really like the way your fonts blend on the cover, they contrast each other really nicely. The only problem I have is the word sake is kind of hard to read. To fix that, you could have given it a black outline, moved the picture up, or put all the text on one side/in the middle. I felt like you also could have made your picture black and white for a little bit more blending, but overall I like the way it all meshes together.

Title: 0.9/1

As of right now, I'm not sure what the title mean (within the story), but I do like it. It is different and unique, and it relates to the topic you are writing about.

Description: 0.75/1

First off, your description is suuuper long. If you are going to have a super long description, but most of it inside the book, and just put a small blurb in the description spot. You want to make sure you have the right amount of description - not too long, but not to short - enough to intrigue your audience. I feel like you tend to over describe things. Like "He stared at me intently, as I continued to fidget nervously under his penetrating gaze..." I feel like it is just too repetitious and has too much description. You use a lot of descriptive words, which is usually a good thing, but I feel like it is just too much in this case. (You would be a great Horror/Action writer with your descriptions), but for Chicklit, it's overdone. You also tend to write run-ons with your super descriptive sentences. But, I really like your plot idea, so if you just fix those couple little things, it'd be great!

Beginning: 0.75/l

In the beginning, there are some grammar issues. Most of them are just very minute punctuation errors. There are also some word choice errors (very minute, like using the instead of a). I'm not sure, but in the prologue the first non-underlined sentence just doesn't seem right to me. The flow of the sentences just isn't there. Add more transitions instead of just describing one thing, then describing the next. Not just within the sentences themselves, but also between the sentences to help with the flow, so it is a little bit smoother. Also, I'm not sure what it is, but your tense just doesn't seem right. You refer to the kids as "Girl" and "Boy" instead of "the girl/boy" or even names. I don't think there is anything wrong with that, it just doesn't sound right, it sounds like someone trying to state a bunch of facts to me, "Girl did this. Boy did that. Etc." Anyways, to the actual plot. I really like it. It is very unique, and I think the way you are going through with the idea is brilliant. I loved the scene with the kids at the beginning, and then when they are older. The plot definitely intrigues me, and I feel like it isn't cliche, so great job there. After I got into the book a little more, the grammar errors and such disappeared, because I was just focused on the plot, so good job with that.

Overall: 3.2/5