The Mystical Awards 2.0 July Reviews

Teen Fiction Breaking Up

Book name: Breaking Up

Genre: Teen Fiction

Contestant name: ShawMcKnight

Judge Name: MusicReader92

Cover: 0.8/1

I actually really like this cover. I like how simplistic it is, but I think you shouldn't have made your username a different color. It should have been like gray, and also much smaller. Also, it looks like the cover you made wasn't exactly the right size to fit, so just keep that in mind for future. If the title was bigger and author was smaller, the cover would be even better. I really like the picture chose though, so good job there.

Title: 0.6/1

The title wouldn't really catch my eye if I were walking past it in a book store. I think it fits the subject, but there's not really much to it. It just seems bland to me. If you could make it deeper, maybe have it relate to the abusive boyfriend or abuse? It just needs to have a little more meaning behind it to peak my curiosity.

Description: 0.7/1

I think the description needs more to it. It does pique my curiosity, buts it needs more description. I think you were going for a little bit of mystery, but I feel like what you wrote is more of a blurb than a description to get someone to read the book. Describe what you wrote more, and I think it'll be good. Who is "she?" Who is "someone?" How is her life upside down?

Beginning: 1.5/2

For Wattpad formatting I don't think you should indent the paragraphs. I personally don't do that, and the authors I read on here also don't do that. It just looks weird to me. Also, have double spaces after your periods. I only do that when I write essays, so it's very weird for me. Usually, you do these things, so good job with sticking to the rules, but I think Wattpad stories are one exception to this rule. You can do whatever you want though, that is just my personal suggestion. The next thing I noticed after the format, was word choice and grammar. I think using an editor (you can find many on Wattpad) or an editing software (like Grammarly) will help you with this, because it is very common. Your word choice isn't always right, sometimes you pick the wrong form of a word (wandered vs. wondered), and there are better choices for some of the words you wrote (touching vs. landing). To me, it seems like your vocabulary is just not a broad as others (which I'm not saying is a bad thing), but just try to work on it, and don't be afraid to ask others for help or their opinion. Also, flow. It needs more transitions. I feel like your paragraph and sentence breaks aren't in places where they should be, so it just needs something in between to help the flow. But, you describe everything really well. Your readers are able to paint a picture of what you are trying to say pretty easily. I think though that you bring in your characters a little abruptly though. They feel like they were forced in. Just give more introduction to the characters. I find that if you act out what's going on, it helps you figure out what's most natural, so that might help you introduce your characters better. I did find myself forgetting about the grammar and errors as I got more into the story, so great job intriguing me. I really like the plot, so overall great job!

Overall: 3.6/5