Chapter 1: The Awakening of PTSD

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Mommy is gone, she left me and Bubby again. I am cold and scared, Mommy normally leaves for days before she returns. Bubby isn't scared he holds my hand while I sleep, so I don't get nightmares. It's cold and we only have one blanket. I still am cold and hungry. Bubby says mommy will be home soon with some food but now we only have one slice of bread to share. Bubby is 7 and I am five, I dont remember how many fingers that is but bubby often reminds me. He said we have to go to school, but I don't know what that is. Mommy says we can't leave the house.

     It has been three days and mommy has not returned. I am hungry and bubby's tummy is growling like a scary monster.I wonder will mommy will come home. She should be home soon I miss mommy, I think bubby misses mommy. We are watching the door, bubby has made a game as to when mommy walks through. The first person to say now when she walks in gets to hug mommy first and the blanket tonight. I keep saying "NOW NOW NOW" so I win the hug and blanket. Bubby says it's not fair that I have to take pause in between the nows.

Mommy has finally came home and bubby said now first. I am upset cause I wanted mommy attention. Mommy is not alone a man is behind her, he looks so scary. He is tall and has a mean face. His eyes are black and the look like monsters eyes. He is holding mommy waist, she is walking funny. Her eyes are open but she looks like she is asleep. I hear her say " I lost my coke, where is my coke". The man is angry he looks like he is going to hurt mommy. I want to hug mommy but I am scared he is going to hurt me.

Me and bubby are and our room paying  hide and seek, we are scared to sleep so bubby thought we should play a game. We laugh and giggle as we jump out at each other. Bubby hides under the blanket and jumps out with a silly face. "ARRRRGG" I laugh so hard I pee a little. The scary man just entered are room. He looks mad at us, he walks up to bubby and pushes him over and bubby falls so hard he started to cry. Scared I hid behind bubby, but the man has picked me up and smacked me. "SHUT UP OR I MAKE YOU SHUT UP AND THIS TIME YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO TALK AGAIN".  He threw me on the ground next to bubby and I landed on my elbows. He kicked me in the tummy and I began to cry. Bubby held me and he looks the scary man in the face, as he left our room. My elbows are bleeding and my tummy hurts and as it turns red. Bubby brushes my hair back and holds me, he said I be alright and he even gave me the blanket.
    Bubby told me a story about a prince and a princess who are brother and sister, the live with a monster who hurts them. One day they decided to run away from the monster and they found a castle that no one lived in. They moved to this castle and a mommy and daddy lived there, they didn't know about. He said the mommy and daddy loved the prince and princess, so much that they became their mommy and daddy. They lived so happy and they got dinner every night and the mommy made them breakfast and even snacks.
The morning came and bubby woke me up, he said it was time to get up so we could ask mommy if we could eat. We started to get up when the scary man appeared. He said that we are not aloud to eat, he said that it was his food and mommy didn't want us to eat.

Bubby said he was a liar, that mommy wanted us to eat and the scary man hit bubby hard. He said "SHUT UP, YOU LITTLE TWIRP OR I'll HIT YOU AGIAN".  Bubby looked sad and his mouth was dripping red. He laid down and I heard him start to cry, bubby didn't like to cry he always got mad when he cried. Mommy told him big boys don't cry and he needed to stop being a baby if he ever wanted to be loved. I didn't want bubby to be loved, mommy said that love was stupid and that when a man loves you, it's okay if he hurts you. I didn't want bubby to be loved I didn't want to be loved, because if you were loved that means you get hurt. I didn't like most of bubby's story's cause he said people loved us and that was scary.

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