eyes closed~~rants

i never stop talking about my problem with food do i?

i don't think i've ever felt worse in my whole life and i'm feeling like this because of food how fucking dandy

basically i can't eat toast and i hadn't eaten anything all day (and it was 9pm) so my mum made me beans on toast and she wouldn't let me leave until i'd either eaten the beans or the toast and beans are a bigger no for me than toast so i ate the toast and low and behold i woke up and threw up :)

i'm like absolutely starving too but i can't eat anything because it will just make me feel worse so i've just been watching buzzfeed tasty videos to hopefully cure my hunger (which isn't working)

i can't concentrate at all either and like i've been wanting to watch brooklyn nine nine but i'm finding it hard to follow when my stomach is literally trying to kill me and the only thing i ate yesterday is what i threw up

this is why food shouldn't exist

it's too complicated

and imagine the time you'd save if you never had to eat
like ever

that would be heaven for me honestly food is the worst thing currently in my life

i need a therapist
but everyone's trying to blame me for this so i'd just end up screaming at the therapist
so that's probably not a great idea