my birthday is weird

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it's my birthday on sunday? how the hell did that happen??

october has absolutely flown by and just fuckin left us which means it's closer to my birthday and idk i just feel anxious about my birthday for some reason

maybe it's because a bunch of people are coming to my house who have never been here before? so i'm literally exposing this whole vulnerability thing to a bunch of people at once

i'm not quite sure i just feel uneasy about it

but then again i can't wait for it to happen because it's a costume party (i'm literally a child ik) and we're gonna watch movies and blast some iconic tunes and gah i just can't wait for that

but the first part is gonna be hard

i honestly don't know what's happening rn like usually i don't get scared of my fucking birthday but i'm slowly starting to like lose it mentally so honestly makes sense

okay bye now

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