eyes closed~~rants

me bein sappy and anxious all in one

i feel like my friends don't really support me and my girlfriend
i mean they do
they acted as our wingmen
but idk
they've just been acting weird lately

every time i hug her, or lean on her, or she leans on me, or i hold her hand, or anything couply happens between us
my friends kinda side-eye us
like
they feel uncomfortable looking at us
and sometimes
they'll even t r y to make jokes
i fully emphasise t r y
because they're shitty jokes
that don't make any sense
and just make me and my gf so uncomfortable
that me stop doing whatever we're doing
such as them seeing us hold hands
and they yell "y'all are so gay"
literally
it doesn't matter how far away they are
they will yell this
almost every time we like breathe around eachother
and we get awkward and stop
i don't wanna be like that
cause i love her with my whole heart
y'all know that cause she's all i ever talk about
and yeah i get that around certain people they don't want us to act gay
for example i went to one of my friend's grandma's birthday parties and every time me and my girlfriend would like hug or hold hands she'd tell us to stop cause her grandma is homophobic
but like
in the comfort of my own home?
fuck you i can do whatever i want
i usually reply with "that's the point"
but then i feel like that sounds like i'm trying to fuck her or something
i'm not
i'm 14
too young for that shit
but yk

gah relationships are so weird
but i couldn't live without them