Send Nudes // l.r.h

pushing you out of her uterus

cristina: aye bitches

cristina: guess who's birthday it is

cristina: me

luke: happy birthday babe

calum: happpppy birthday cristina

calum: and babe?

michael: woo happy anniversary to your mom pushing you out of her uterus

ashton: why Mikey

ashton: and happy bday, what are ya doing today?

michael: I speak the truth

cristina: what if my mom had a c-section

michael: did she?

cristina: idk honestly

cristina: I like to think i was all natural

cristina: and I'm just online shopping and possibly going to work, unless I call in

luke: what do you want for your birthday?

calum: oh hell yeah, we have to get cristina a present for when we visit her

calum: I already have ideas

cristina: ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY IS A BIG BOOTY HOE

cristina: jk

cristina: I'm already a bigbootyhoe

cristina: and there's only enough room for one of those in my life

michael: what about luke

luke: shh it's her birthday

luke: we'll argue about who's the true bigbootyhoe later

calum: she beat you to the username, I think she wins

ashton: okay but seriously, what do you want for your birthday cristina?

cristina: idk, friends?

michael: ofFENDED

ashton: well then

calum: fuck you too

luke: i don't wanna be your friend anyways ;)

cristina: i want friends i can hang out with

cristina: you guys know i have an unusual amount of love for y'all

cristina: I'm just sad I can't always show ya

cristina: at least not until ya get here

michael: i didn't sign up for an orgy

cristina: sTop

cristina: you know what I mean

calum: we love you too cristina

luke: only another week or so until we get to see you

ashton: and give you hugs and presents

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AYE BITCHES ITS MY BIRTHDAY (august 11th) AND SINCE I DONT HAVE FRIENDS TO PARTY WITH, IM TELLING YALL SO THERE YA GO

I WISH I KNEW 5SOS AND WAS CRISTINA CAUSE GOD DAMN I LOVE THIS

why is calum such a meme

moving boxes by with confidence is my jam lately, y'all should listen to it

I'm about to get tinder, just to let y'all know what I'm doing today

what are you plans for today or the rest of the summer?