Finally Free

Twelve

~~~~~~~~Trigger Warning~~~~~~~~

After staring at the ceiling completely zoned out for about 5 minutes I get up, get on my phone clicking the music app and pressing shuffle letting my random mix of music kinda quietly play in the background, put my phone on the charger, dig through my drawers to find a pair of black under armor sweatpants from my majorette line in high school so they have my name in cursive on the left pant leg. I also grab a pair of spandex and a sports bra before I walk to the bathroom to change. Our apartment is nice everyone has their own bathroom in their bedroom, our shared space is the kitchen living room and in-unit laundry. I quickly change into the spandex, sports bra and sweats keeping on my fuzzy socks and pulling my hoodie back on since it is freezing here meaning it is freezing in the apartment too, they keep it at like 72 which doesn't sound terrible but the apartment is drafty and has vaulted ceilings so it is just cold. I check my hair in the bathroom mirror and it is now a frizzy mess so I take it out of the braids and just tie it into a high messy bun on top of my head. I also grab a makeup wipe and take everything I had on off and only put chapstick back on. I leave all my jewelry on because it is my everyday stuff. I also keep my glasses on because lazy. I walk out of the bathroom and just look around my room, I have so much stuff either of colin or from him.

I sigh and grab my bags from the floor setting them on my bed so I can empty them and put them away. Most everything from my suitcase goes either into my bathroom or into the laundry hamper so it doesn't take long. Next to my backpack, since it is not my school backpack I have to take all of my school stuff out, putting it on my desk, I keep everything very organized so as I am going I put everything into its correct spot not just thrown on the desk. After plugging in my laptop I hear a knock at the front door it is probably just food someone ordered so I ignore it and keep putting away and organizing everything. Once I think everything organized and cleaned I turn around to grab my phone off my nightstand so I can text Beth. But as I turn around I see Colin standing in my doorway.

"Hey" he says I just blink, is he really here? He rarely came to visit me even though he was only 45 minutes away.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I text Beth telling here to stay close because he is here.

"I wanted to talk and you wouldn't come to meet me," He says shrugging before shutting my door and sitting down on my bed "Katlyn let me in, she thought I was her food delivery" he answers my next question

"There is a reason I did not want to see you."

"I still don't understand what I did"

"It was not one specific thing. It was a lot of things that all built up."

"I don't see that"

"And that is fine. But I do and I can't do it anymore. I still have feeling for you but I cannot be in a relationship with you."

"Why not?"

"Because I am not happy," I tell him after sitting down in my desk chair facing him since he decided to sit down on MY bed.

"What the fuck do you mean you are not happy?"

"I mean just that. I am not happy with you. I sit here constantly worrying and wondering if I will hear from you that day or when I will see you next. I go home almost every weekend yes to work but also to see you but yet you don't want to see me. You do not put effort into our relationship anymore. Not even to mention that you find it comical and enjoyable to fake breaking up with me. And the fact that you did break up with me before during finals week, not just during finals though you broke up with me at 2 in the morning the only day I had in class finals one of which happens to be at 7:45 in the morning when I was coming home that night. Then last finals week we got into a fight before and I did not hear from you for 3 days, I did not know if we were broke up or not and spent way to much time and energy focusing on you and not on my school work. I have to many majors and to many minors to do that." I say and he just stares at me not knowing what to say