BTS One Shots and Flash Fictions (Book 1)

Confessions || Yoongi Drabble

The nerves in my stomach were running wild as I thought about what I was going to say. I had been planning this speech for weeks and it was like I couldn't find the right combination of words to get my message across. I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to clear my head of any doubts or negative thoughts. Negative energy was the last thing I needed right now. If I second guessed myself at all I knew I would start running in the opposite direction. I had to get this out. I took a deep breath before I started talking. I was so nervous my hands were shaking. I tried to calm down terrified that I would break the delicate flower in my hand. It was the same kind of flower Yoongi had given me on my eighteenth birthday. He said it was a lucky kind of flower and I needed all the luck in the world to get through this speech. I closed my eyes in hopes that it would make this easier. It didn't. I knew I was going to just have to say it. I took one final breath and held the flower close to my chest and suddenly the words were just pouring out.

"I love you, Min Yoongi," I blurted out without opening my eyes. I was too scared that if I opened them and saw him I wouldn't be able to finish. "I've loved you ever since I met you. I love your gummy smile and your adorable laugh. I love that music is your passion. I love that you'll spend countless hours in your studio until the song is perfect. I love when you sneak me inside to hear a sneak peek of whatever song you're working on because you desperately want my opinion even though I know absolutely nothing about music. I love that even when you're exhausted you never stop. You keep pushing yourself until you're better than you ever were before. And just when I think I can't love you any more. When I think that you can't surprise me anymore. When I think you can't get any better. You always find a way to make it happen. You do that you know? It's like you're some kind of magician." I laughed at the thought. "I was always under your spell. Even when you weren't trying to cast one. I live for every moment I see you. Whether it is onstage or offstage. I live for hearing you call my name. I live for watching you play the piano. The way your fingers glide from one key to another effortlessly always amazed me. I never understood how music could completely help you escape from the world until I met you. You showed me how to travel through time with music. And now every time I hear a piano I smile and think of you." A single tear slid down my cheek. "I have waited for weeks to tell you how I feel about you. I was always too scared you wouldn't feel the same way. But now I'm saying it.You did that for me you know? You always encourage me to go out and conquer my fears. You even helped me. It's because of you that I've experienced so many different things. And I never want to experience a new thing without you. I love you. I have always loved you, and I'm not afraid anymore. " I waited for a response, but one didn't come. I slowly realized that one wasn't going to come. I opened my eyes and looked down at his headstone, and reality sunk in. Whatever song that I thought was playing had ended. There was no escaping the truth this time. Another tear made its journey down my cheek and onto the grass. I laid the flower down in the center. "I'm sorry," I whispered softly my voice cracking as I tried not to cry.

"I just couldn't conquer my fear in time."