Pernico - Survivor

Ch.19 Dear Journal

I went camping for a few days, but since I just got back, I thought it would be nice to update. :) In other news, I'm leaving for Hawaii on Thursday, and I'll be gone for roughly two weeks. I will honestly try to update when I'm there, but it depends on whether or not I can get wifi at the hotel. So yeah, do you feel updated enough? hahahah Anyways, on with the chapter.

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Nico's P.O.V

This time I woke up to silence. I slowly opened my eyes, to be met with an empty room. Where had Jason and Percy gone?

I slowly attempted to sit up, and after three times actually succeeded. I raised a hand to my forehead to see if I was just sweating or if it was a fever. Unfortunately for me, I had a fever. I craned my neck to try to see down the hall, but was interrupted by a cough that escaped my lips. This single cough was apparently lonely and had called for some friends because suddenly I was having a coughing fit. I struggled for breath in between the wretched coughs that wouldn't stop. Just as I felt I was going to pass out from lack of oxygen, the coughing stopped. I took a few moments to regulate my breathing before slowing swinging my legs off the edge of the bed. Maybe I should go see where everyone is... I slowly pushed myself off the bed, but my legs were being stubborn and wouldn't support my weight, so I slumped to the floor in defeat, not having enough energy to pick myself back up again. Why can't I do anything right? Because you're an ugly little fool, who thinks they actually deserve to be happy. My thoughts were relentless today. With each new insult, I felt my breathing becoming more and more spastic. This can't be happening, not now! I can't have a panic attack here, my dad will start to figure things out, and I'll be disowned before I can even blink! I felt my vision start to go black, but before I blacked out I heard a frantic voice.

"Nico, what's going on?"

Percy's P.O.V

Earlier, Hades had invited Jason and I to have dinner with him, which we agreed to, because even I wasn't stupid enough to turn down a nice gesture from a God. We ended up eating in uncomfortable silence, everyone too wrapped up in their own thoughts to attempt a conversation. We ate quickly, obviously not wanting to prolong to awkward dinner. I also wanted to go and check on Nico. I didn't like the idea of leaving him alone too long in his current state.

I finished my dinner first, and asked to be excused, to which Hades simply nodded his head. I slowly got up and started walking to Nico's room. As soon as I was out of eye sight, I began sprinting. I couldn't stand being without Nico longer than I had too.

I reached his room without any delays, and quickly walked in. My eyes found their way to an empty bed, but my ears picked up on some ragged breathing. I sprinted to the other side of the bed, where I noticed Nico laying on the floor, yelling things that ranged from "Please stop" to "shut up".

"Nico, what's going on?" I questioned, as I knelt down beside him. Just as I had wrapped him in my arms he passed out. I slowly stood and place him gently on the bed. I mulled over his symptoms in my head before coming to the conclusion that he had just gone through a panic attack. What should I do when he wakes up? Is he supposed to drink water or something? Probably, water almost always helps.... Maybe I should put a cold towel on his head? I quickly jumped up and ran into the bathroom in search of a towel. I dug in the drawer and found what I was looking for and more. At the bottom of the drawer buried under the spare towel was a small notebook with Nico's name on it. I stuck it under my arm, and focused on getting the wet towel for Nico before looking more into my discovery. I placed the towel under the faucet and slightly turned the tap, only allowing a small among of water to reach the towel. When it was damp, I turned off the water, and carried the towel back to Nico. Only when the towel was set in the correct spot did I start to investigate this notebook. It was a black leather book, about the size of my hand, with stickers of bands cluttering the front cover. There were stickers from Fall Out Boy, All Time Low, Mayday Parade, and Bastille. I chuckled as I gazed at the little clue of Nico's thoughts and personality. I find it funny, how everyone thought that just because he wore black and had cool powers, he was some invincible person with no emotions. I mean, sure he may not have a lot of practice with showing his emotions to people, but just because he doesn't make it blatantly obvious what he's feeling, doesn't mean he isn't feeling anything. I also found it kind of strange for him to have a journal at all. I've never seen him write anything. All he ever does is listen to music. I guess he must to his writing in private.

I cautiously opened the front cover and found myself staring at the beautiful writing of Nico Di Angelo, telling whoever was reading his journal, to close the book and walk away, otherwise they would be meeting the end of his sword. I chuckled after that, because how can Nico be any cuter?

I flipped over the page, ignoring the threat issued the page prior, and started reading. It took me a few minutes, with my dyslexia and all, but eventually I had figured out his first entry. It read :

Dear Journal,

A few days ago, I discovered the most horrifying secret about myself. I am Gay. I know I shouldn't enjoy it, when a boy wraps their arms around me, but I can't help it. I was walking to the arena to practice, when Jason came out of nowhere and wrapped me in a hug, claiming that he was my unofficial body guard, and therefore deserved to be hugged back. I ended up not hugging him back, but it didn't stop the pleasurably feeling that had sprouted in my chest. On my way back from the arena a few hours later, Piper flung her arms around me, because she claimed to have missed me when I had skipped out on movie night with our friends, but the pleasurable feeling never came. I squirmed out of her grip, feeling gross and simply sprinted to my cabin to figure it out. That's when I came to the conclusion. I can't believe the fates had to do this to me. Not only was I already am outcast for being a socially awkward son of Hades, but now I liked guys. I was leaning against the wall of my cabin crying, when I decided to just stop. Stop crying over this. Stop showing emotions. Stop caring. So If I seem a little emotionless, I'm sorry, but I don't really have a choice.

-Nico

There were a few spelling mistakes that had been scribbled over by the thick black ink of his pen. I can't believe that he had to go through that alone. I vowed then and there, that when Nico woke up, I would do everything in my power to make him feel wanted, and to show him that being gay was okay.

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There's chapter 19! I tried out a slightly different writing style there, but I'm not really sure how I feel about it. Anyways, as I said earlier, starting Thursday, I will be in Hawaii, so Updates won't be as fast, but I should return after roughly two weeks, so don't worry.

In other news, I was scrolling through Instagram when a thought popped into my head. How can I connect with my readers? But luckily, my brain gave me an answer, which was staring me in the face. Instagram! If you want to ask me some questions about the Fanfic, you can post them in the comments of my photos on @Dam._.Nico. :)

Question: If you could only live for one more day and you could do anything regardless of price or consequences, what would you do?

Answer: I would probably spend the day tracking down Rick Riordan and demand he tell me how Blood of Olympus ends, because I wouldn't be alive for the end of it.