The Boy in the Rain//Klance

47. Lance

"So he beat you again? God why is Mama so stupid!" Danny exclaims as he tugs angrily at his curly brown hair. I don't usually like when people insult my Mama but this time it's kind of true. "She's putting the little ones in harms way. How does she not see that?" Danny wonders aloud. I shrug, "I think she can see that it's wrong and dangerous. I just think she doesn't want to accept it." Daniel peers out from his hands and meets my eyes, "When did you get so smart?" Then he ruffles my hair, making it stick up a bit.

"Anyway I'm sorry but you have to sleep on the couch. Abuelita is the one who took Nina's room." I nod and ask my brother where I can get blankets. Danny opens a closet full of sheets, blankets, and pillows. I take out a knitted blanket I can tell Abuelita made it herself. She's always loved doing things like that. 

As I lay the blanket out on the couch, a sudden hand on my shoulder makes me jump. I look to see the short and curvy Abuelita of mine. She looks just like Mama but with more wrinkles, a sadder look in her chocolate brown eyes and gray hairs littering her head. "I'm sorry about everything Mijo. Your papa is a bad man." She says solemnly and I bring her hand off my shoulder but hold it tight, "It's not your fault Abuelita." I say with a genuine smile. Abuelita starts to tear up, "Yes it is, your poor Mama is not strong enough to stand up to your Papa. She got her weakness from me." I shake my head quickly, "That's not it. You're very strong. When Abuelo left you staid with all of your children. When Papa went to prison you stayed and helped Mama. You're one of the strongest people I know. I only hope I could be like you one day." I say with a smile. But the smile fades when Abuelita looks angry.

She waves her hand like she's about to hit me. I wince a bit and for a minute she looks apologetic. Dad hits me. "You are very strong Lance. You put on a brave face for your Mama, your siblings and your friends. Your Mama always bragged to me that you were her strongest boy- you were always there for her. You are very strong Lance. You just don't know it." I feel myself tear up and I shake my head violently. Abuelita pulls me in to her and I gratefully take the support. I lay my head on her shoulder. "Such a strong boy. Though you aren't like Danny, you're a lover not a fighter." I smile at that, it's true. But I also can't help but feel like that means I'm weak. "Whatever you're thinking right now Leandro remember I love you." I quirk up at that. She just called me Leandro. That's not my name. "Oh sorry Lance." Abuelita chuckles quietly. "You just remind me so much of my own baby boy." I do look up at that. "Who?" I ask confused.

"My little boy. My youngest." A sad look crosses Abuelita's face. "You had another son?" I question, I've never heard of Leandro. Abuelita nods, "Yes. Mateo, Diego, Liliana, your Mama, and my little boy Leandro." I can see her eyes well with tears and her lips quiver. I hold on to her shoulders. "Abuelita....Why haven't I met this uncle?" I ask quietly and seriously, I think I already know this answer. "Because he committed suicide long ago." I breathe in sharply. My uncle that I've never met committed suicide? How could Mama or Abuelita never talk about him? How did I remind Abuelita of him?

Oh.

"Abuelita I'm so sorry and you don't need to worry about me. Ever." I say as I hold onto her. Abuelita shakes her head, "I'm your Abuelita. It's my job to worry about you Mijo." I rub her  back, "What was he like? Your Leandro." I can practically hear the wide and proud smile on her face, "HE was very much like you. Outgoing, flirty, funny, strong for his siblings, close to your Mama. He was always so caring and considerate." Then after a happy pause, "Too bad no one was caring enough for him." I hold her tighter, "I'm sorry Abuelita. I'm sure you did all you could." She shakes her head, "No. I was too busy helping Mateo with school, Diego with soccer, Liliana with dance, your Mama with her being pregnant with Danny at so young...I left poor little baby Leandro to himself and his own problems. If only-" I cut her off, "You can't say that. There is no one to turn back time, no matter how hard we wish and say if only. It's not happening. We have to stop regretting the past and start looking forward to the future. That's what Leandro would want you to do." I say with finality. It felt like the right thing to say, even if it's harsh.

Abuelita cups my cheeks and my eyes meet her warm brown ones, "You are so wise Lance. So smart and poetic. You're a good man. Strong but loving boy, I love you." Then Abuelita leaves my side, "Sleep. We are going to your house in the morning. We're getting your Mama to make that man leave." I nod dutifully, but I'm actually really scared. Going to the house? Seeing Dad? I'm terrified. I don't know if I'll get any sleep at all. 

I lay on the soft couch and pull the covers up over me, let's hope I can sleep.