kik group chat

+a/n+

before you start reading this fic, there's probably some things i need to say. i've been writing this fic for roughly a year and a half - as of writing this note (22nd of september 2018). since starting this, so many things have happened. my idols being accused of this and that, and the fan bases going crazy with their reactions - as expected. but i did want to say a few things regarding the characters in this fic.

first of all, this is an au. this is fiction. none of this is real. the way that the characters' personalities are developed isn't how i perceive them in real life. they aren't anything like the way i make them act in this book. and i just want to clear that up. 

melanie martinez is in this fic. i started writing this before the accusations. and i have my own views on those, but i'm not going to say them again because she was the first artist i got into and it makes me sad to think about it. however, melanie is not a main character. as of around chapter 35, she isn't mentioned that much. people still wanted her in this, whereas other people didn't, so she stayed, but she doesn't do or say much. 

kenny harris is in this fic. when i saw the accusations, i didn't believe them. i refused to. i was so damn upset. i was in denial. because it was kenny. kenny, my second favourite member of panic! (after dallon). kenny, the guy who waved at me during leeds festival and made me cry of happiness. kenny, the guy who i found so damn hilarious. kenny, one of the men i looked up to. and all of this was so hard to take in. but it has to be said. and i'm going to be honest, i couldn't bring myself to remove him (however, i have removed him now, but he is still in earlier parts). panic! addressed the rumours today. kenny hasn't spoken out about it yet. nothing's been proved yet. and half of me doesn't want to believe any of this. but it has to be serious if panic!'s taken him off the team. maybe kenny decided to leave because he didn't want to take the drama or whatever. but that girl had no reason to lie about it. i can't find a single reason why she'd want to start drama that wasn't at all necessary. so for now, i'm going to try and accept it. 

it hurts because i said two days ago to my mum that i really felt like i decided to look up to the right people. and now i don't think i'm right about that. maybe i am. i know that i made a mistake about looking up to william beckett (he's not in this fic at all). but i can't deal with kenny at all. it's so hard to just take in. i just need him to speak out about it. i need him to go live on instagram, even just make a post about it. i just need some sort of validation about whether it's true or not.

anyways, rant about anything and everything here! it can be about band members, or just random things, it's up to you. i just want to see people's views on things. but please, please, please be respectful to each other! >>>

anyways, that's for reading this rant. ily.

- robyn