All This Time [Book 3] | Pentagon✔

Chapter 26

Chapter 26
So Goodbye
______________

Dearest Kino,

      You're probably wondering why I wrote this instead of just telling you everything on your faceㅡlike how I've always been with people. Something you said you love about me. Maybe I find words easier to say than other people do but when it comes to you, always when it comes to you, I just become a writer.

      When you were in your senior year in high school, I planned confessing my feelings to you. I wrote a letter the way you would have liked it. The way you said you liked my essay because it was more... poetic. In the end, it didn't reach you. I didn't want it to bother you. You were in love with someone else.

      But hey, that didn't keep me from liking you. I have a very boring life but then and even now, you always seem to brighten it up. If what I felt for you back then was a teen crush; an admiration from afarㅡwhat I feel for you now is so much more real; an admiration upclose.

      I see your flaws. I see your perfects. I see you. I know some of your past. I know your feelings. I know you. And I'm still so deeply in love with you. It's insane. Sometimes I look at you and I think, 'Wow. This man here, this beautiful man here is in love with me too.' You have no idea how happy you make me feel.

      I was afraid you could never love me the way you've loved someone else before but boy I am wrong. Your life. Your love. Dancing. You risked something you felt like you were born to do when you saved my life. I am so, so, so sorry. I will never forgive myself if you can't dance ever again.

      But mostly because this happened to you by no accident. It's because of me. I am the target, Kino. Someone has a grudge on my mother and has been trying to target me. I was saved each time.

      So, this is where I tell you that I've decided to leave. For a while. Now, tell me how am I supposed to tell you this in person? I know it makes me look like a coward, but I'd rather we have a beautiful last moment before I leave. It has always been supposed to end this way, isn't it? Just a bit earlier.

      I'm leaving to give my mother a peace of mind. We talked, Kino. She told me everything. Isn't it sad how most of us grow up thinking our parents would never understand our pain? How we thought they were only pushing us to perfection that we'd never achieve? But the truth is, they always made sure we never felt their pain. Made sure we never make the same mistakes they did. Made sure we never struggle the way they did. Going back to Scotland right now is something I owe to her.

      I hope you understand. She thinks I am safer in a distance. Now, I promised I'll send you flowers everyday. Maybe they would become annoying to you eventually, but I hope you don't throw them away until they wither. I'm sorry for leaving this way after everything you've done for me. But know this, I've always waited for you. And I will always wait for you.

      Maybe in a few months, in a year, or several years laterㅡI don't know how longㅡbut maybe you don't even love me anymore by then. Please don't wait for me. Be happy when you feel it. Fall in love when you feel it.

     Here's some more things I wrote for you. My writing is rusty but I hope it would make you smile.

ㅡㅡㅡ¤ㅡㅡㅡ
𝓕𝓲𝓿𝓮 𝓣𝓻𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓼
ㅡㅡㅡ¤ㅡㅡㅡ

one;
your presence is like the sun
that lights up my whole world
even on the days i don't want to.

two;
i keep your truths in a bottle
of memories that i will
cherish forever.

three;
you make me a better person.

four;
kissing you makes me
feel so alive.

kino;
the best part
of my life.

Kino foolishly tried getting up. All he could think about was going after Yeeun, but all he ever did was fall to the cold, hard floor. The nurse immediately attended to him. Tears poured down his face from the physical and emotional pain he was feeling.

"I have to go..." He begged the nurse.

"No, sir. You are still too weak. You need to rest for your upcoming surgery."

"I need to see Yeeun!" He yelled.

"I'm sorry, sir." The nurse straddles his arms when he resisted and tried to get up again. She injected something on him and he felt himself get weak.

He laid his head down the pillow and cried silently. "Yeeun..." He mumbled before falling asleep.

• • •

Author's Note:

thank you so much for reading!
i know it's a short chapter.
will make it up on the next update ♡