It's been a while of not speaking to Luke.
Three weeks since I saw Luke and Sierra arguing in the hallway.
My mum reported me to the police as missing. Not too long later, they found me at Ashton's that day we hung out after school. It's been a bit since then.
It's mid November and I've just been isolating myself. I don't really talk to anyone much, my fault. The days drag and I feel like I'm being swallowed whole by time. It's like the days are dragging by so slow, yet so fast. Just yesterday I was in Luke's bed it feels like, holding him, our bare bodies pressed together in warmth.
I kinda missed how that felt.
I'm on my bed, knees to my chest and chin on my knees. Music plays from my record player. Wonderwall by Oasis plays and I wanna cry. It was a love song but why would I cry, I'm not in love with anyone.
I just feel so entirely lonely even when I'm not.
"Alice?" I look over at my door and see Calum. He frowns at me.
"What?"
"You alright?"
"No, who's asking?" He sighs.
"Me." Of course just him. My mother didn't really give a fuck about me.
"Fine." I brush it off. He takes it upon himself to walk in. He looks around awkwardly.
"Oasis. Good band." He speaks.
"Mhm." I nod.
"I'm sorry you and I have never been close, Allie." He says. Calum sits on the edge of my bed. Calum's never done anything wrong to me. He's always been so kind. So I don't understand why I had always been so rude to him.
Then again, I was rude to everyone.
"I know our parents divorcing and finding someone new was hard for you, for both of us," Calum continues. "But I wanna be close with you now, I want to be there for you." He was so sincere about what he'd said. I appreciate his effort to be there for me. I just really couldn't understand what was wrong in the first place.
"Thank you." I say. He nods and looks away from me.
"You talk to Luke at all?" I shake my head. All I wanted to do was talk to Luke, but whenever I tried, he wouldn't answer my texts. I don't blame him though.
"No. I haven't spoke to him in three weeks. He's ignoring me I believe." Calum frowns.
"Luke tells me everything you know." I look to him.
"Everything?" He nods.
"Mhm," That's embarrassing. "I'm sorry that that happened, and it's not your fault you know." I shrug.
"I think it is."
"I know why he's ignoring you." I wondered why. I hadn't even done anything terrible enough for him to be this upset with me. It seemed a bit extreme to ignore me for three weeks over this.
"Why then?" I look at Calum. "Cause I'd love to know." He stares at me.
"He's back with Sierra." Hearing that didn't really hurt me, it just bothered me. I kinda liked Luke, but it's my fault nothing can happen between us. I had years to make up my mind and didn't, but I also didn't expect Sierra to give him another chance.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
As if on cue my phone vibrates, signaling I've gotten a text message. I look at my lockscreen to see who it is.
Luke
"Who is it?" Calum asks. How nosy.
"It's Luke."
"Oh?"
"I know... this is the first I've heard from him since I said." He nods.
"Well what has he said?" I look over to Calum and laugh.
"You're nosy." He shrugs.
"He'll probably tell me anyway." He wasn't wrong there. I open up the message and read it to Calum.
Luke: Can we talk?
"Oh? Do you think he means in person?" I look to Calum and shrug before responding.
Me: Like... in text?
It doesn't take long for him to respond.
Luke: No, like in person.
"He wants to talk in person." Calum scoffs and shakes his head.
"This is a bad idea," He stands up and looks at me. "I feel like it's just gonna go full circle with you two." I roll my eyes.
"I don't think it will, Cal."
Me: Uh.. sure. When?
"Something's gonna happen and I can't wait to be there to say I told you so." I shake my head, ignoring Calum. I look at my phone screen as I wait for a response.
Luke: Now?
"He wants to now..."
"Eager huh? I wish I knew what he wanted to talk to you about."
"Probably to tell me that him and Sierra are back together that's all. Which won't be a surprise at all since you've already told me." Calum shrugs. He seemed to already be the wise one of the group. I already knew this would probably be a bad decision.
Me: Alright then. Where would you want to meet up?
I stand up and put my shoes on.
Luke: The park by the school.
"Just be careful, Alice. I don't want him to start messing with your head now." I shake my head.
"If anything, I've been the one messing with his. Don't worry Cal. I don't think there will be a problem at all." He nods at me.
"Let me know how it goes then." I nod and head downstairs, going out the front door. Thank god mum was at work, I really didn't feel like speaking to her. She's the reason I stayed shut in my room when I wasn't out.
The walk to the park is cold. November this year was much warmer than last. I couldn't complain though, I enjoyed the warmth more than the cold. At least I wasn't frozen.
I end up getting to the park first and get to the center, where the town statue sat, around were multiple benches to sit. So I sit down, waiting for Luke to arrive. I lean back in my seat, kind of dreading this talk with him.
I don't even know what it's going to be about.
I look around and then I spot him a distance away, coming to me in a heavy pale blue jean jacket. He crossed his arms as he walked, seeming a bit nervous. He finally makes eye contact with me. Luke looked sad. For what reason I don't know, but I was about to find out. When he gets close enough to me, he speaks.
"Hey." I take a deep breath.
"Hi."
