I wake the next morning feeling terrible. My eyes burn and my throat feels raw from the sobbing I did the night before. On my chest, Ashton lays his head, arms wrapped around my waist in a peaceful sleep. His breaths come out slow and soft, gentle snores escaping him.
I can't begin to explain how Ashton made me feel. I couldn't thank him enough for being there at dinner last night. Though he handled it the wrong way and shouldn't have swung at my dad, I can't neglect the fact that he did it for the right reasons. He genuinely cares for me and he proved that to me further last night. I run my fingers through his hair as he sleeps, admiring how angelic he looked when he slept. I hear a small groan escape him. Moments later, he opens his eyes to look up at me. He smiles sadly and lifts his head a bit.
"Morning, baby. How you feeling?" I shrug as he begins to sit up. He shifts and moves beside me.
"I don't know. I don't feel good I know that." I respond and he frowns at me, putting a hand on mine. His thumb rubs circles on the surface.
"I'd imagine you'd feel that way... after yesterday." I bite my lip as I remember last night. The yelling, the judgement, the fighting. I didn't want to think about it, but it's all that clouded my freshly awoken brain. How could I be so excited to see my father? How has he changed so much? I've praised my father so highly before yesterday, but why? Why did I love him so much? I couldn't figure out the answer to my questions. All I know is the man that walked into my house last night was not my father. I refused to believe it.
"Baby, don't cry." I flinch as Ashton brings a finger to catch a tear that falls, and I hadn't even realized I was crying.
"I... I didn't realize I was." Ashton frowns at me.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" I shake my head immediately.
"Let's just go for some coffee, yeah?" Ashton nods at me and leaves a quick kiss to my lips. Last night was over, I wanted to move on from it. I wanted to forget about it all. I fake a smile for his sake and hop off the bed. I strip of my clothes, not minding that Ashton was sitting right behind me. It's silent as I change and it left a weird vibe in the air. I throw on a hoodie from my school and slide into some leggings. I put my vans on and take a deep breath as I close my eyes for a moment. It doesn't take long before Ashton comes behind me, lacing his fingers with mine and wrapping our arms around my waist. He rests his head in my neck.
"I'm always here for you," He presses a gentle kiss to my neck and I sigh. "Remember that." I smile and kiss the top of his hand before turning around to face him. I place my hands on his cheeks, looking over his features. His brows are furrowed in concern, clearly worried for my mental state. His lips are drawn down in a firm frown. I didn't like seeing him this way. Not at all.
"I know," I peck his lips. "And I'm grateful for that." He gives me a soft smile, and I feel so happy that I've come to know him. I am so glad that I went outside to smoke that cig when I did that day.
"So, the coffee?"
"Yeah, but first, I need to check on Calum."
Ashton agrees with a nod and he follows me out to Calum's room. We walk across the hall until we get to Calum's room. We're sure to knock considering last time we went to his room.
"Cal?" I hear nothing through the door, there's no reply at all and I frown. Hesitantly, I open the door slowly and the room is quite, dark. No one makes a point to stop me so I open it all the way. I see the covers move, signaling Calum has pulled the covers over his head.
"Calum?"
"Go away." He grumbles and his voice sounds hoarse. I felt terrible for Calum. He took so much heat last night and there was no way for him to avoid it at all. Yeah, he didn't have to tell dad, but he would've found out later in life anyway so why not just get it over with now. Rip the band-aid.
"How are you feeling?"
"I said go away." He repeats, his tone sharper than it was moments ago. I look to Ashton and he gives me a sad look. It's safe to say that Calum wasn't moving back in with our dad anytime soon, not that we would let that happen anyway.
"We want to help you, Calum. Talk to us," To this, he stays silent. He doesn't say a word and I guess I don't expect him to. As long as he knows we're here for him. "We wanna help ease whatever you're feeling. We're here for you, you know." I hear a quiet sniffle.
"Please," I hear his voice break, signaling he's been crying. He chokes on a sob when he speaks again. "Leave me alone." My heart aches for him. I wanted so badly to do something but I couldn't. He clearly didn't want anyone in here, or anyone to talk to. There was nothing else to do than to respect his wishes.
"Okay. Just text me if you need anything, okay?" He doesn't respond to this so I take that as our cue to leave. I wish I could do something to ease Calum's pain. I know this is hard for him. I couldn't imagine being the only son. Having so much pressure to be that strong, athletic, heterosexual son. Being held to such high standards only to fail in his eyes greatly.
Ashton squeezes my hand as we exit. I close the door and feel my eyes well in tears.
"It's okay, Allie." He wraps his arms around me.
"It just isn't fair," I sniffle. "He shouldn't have had to go through that." Ashton sighs as he holds me and rests his chin on my head.
"There's nothing more you can do," He's right as much as I didn't want him to be. I wanted to do something to help him, anything. "He has to get through this himself."
"I know," Ashton kisses my forehead. "Let's go get that coffee, okay?"
[Hey guys! Short chapter but I hope you enjoyed it. Also just haven't had much motivation for this book. I may or may not discontinue but we'll see.]
