I'm in the cafeteria, once again picking at my food and not eating any of it. I can't help but send Sierra and Luke filthy looks across the lunch room. I dislike Sierra so much. She seemed so manipulative, untruthful. I didn't like that Luke was with her, and I secretly hope he cheats on her again.
Though I know he won't, he has too big of a heart.
"Alice." Ashton speaks across from me at the lunch table. I look over at him, beginning to notice that Michael and Crystal were staring at me too.
"You good girl?" She raises an eyebrow. I sigh and nod.
"Perfect."
"Doesn't sound perfect." Ashton leans back, crossing his arms. He eyes me and I shrug.
"I'm fine."
"She's lying," Michael says. "I'd know I lie all the time, and she's got that look." I roll my eyes at him. Sometimes Michael sounded like a complete idiot.
"Shut up, Michael," I push my tray away and eye Luke again, who was smiling happily as he fed Sierra a fry. He didn't acknowledge me, in fact he seemed much more content without me. I sigh deeply and Sierra looks over at our table, making eye contact with me. She sends a smug smirk my way before looking back at Luke. I groan loudly. "I fucking hate her."
"Who?" Ashton looks behind himself, following my gaze. He sighs.
"Sierra. She's such a fucking bitch. God, she's so smug, and manipulative." Michael laughs, an arm wrapped around Crystal.
"Told you. I hate that bitch too."
"Don't call her that!" Crystal scolds and Michael shrugs, not seeming to care.
"What? She is! And you knew it too. The moment she joined our group I couldn't wait for her to leave. Since she's with Luke now she's no longer a problem. As long as she's far away from me, I'm happy." Michael takes a sip out of his water bottle.
"Agreed." I sigh. I look to Ashton, who's been quiet this entire conversation.
"Why are you so quiet?" I ask Ashton and he shrugs.
"I'm not."
"You haven't said much at all." The bell rings, signaling that lunch is over and I sigh. Ashton stands up right away.
"I think I'm gonna ditch and go for a smoke." He says out loud, ignoring my topic of conversation and dismissing it completely. Crystal and Michael stand up too, following us as we dump our trays.
"I think I'm just gonna go to class, I can't be anymore behind than I already am." Michael responds to him.
"Good thing I wasn't inviting you." Ashton speaks, sounding bored. I look over to him and raise an eyebrow.
"Alright, dickhead. Didn't wanna smoke with you anyways."
"Bye guys! See you later maybe!" Crystal says cheerfully and within seconds they disappear down the hall. I notice Ashton walking a bit ahead of me and frown. I move so I'm walking beside him and watch him. He wasn't smiling, his expression blank. It gave me a weird feeling, and not a good one.
"Okay, what's up with you?" I ask him and he doesn't answer right away, almost as if he was considering ignoring me completely.
"I don't know what you mean."
"You know what I mean," I say. "You're being quieter than usual. You don't speak to me nearly as much as you did before the beach. Since then, you've been limiting your time to talk to me and it's confusing. It's worrying." I frown at him. He stops at the end of the hall, where we stand in front of the double doors leading to the back of the school. Ashton pushes the double doors and heads outside, myself trailing behind. He looks over at me, licking his lips before speaking.
"I'm skeptical, Allie." I raise an eyebrow.
"About what?"
"Us."
"Us?"
"Yeah." He says and I feel my stomach turn. I suddenly feel nauseous. Why would he be skeptical?
"What do you mean?" He sighs.
"How've you been feeling?"
"About?"
"About him."
"Please elaborate, Ashton. I'm not in the mood to play games." He rolls his eyes at me.
"Fucking Luke." He snaps. I don't like his attitude, and I definitely wasn't going to continue this conversation if he wanted to keep acting this way.
"I'm not talking to you if you're gonna act like a dick." He pouts at me, a hint of anger behind it. He takes a breath and pulls out a cigarette.
"I'm sorry," He lights it. I watch as the smoke escapes the tip as he takes a drag from it. "I didn't mean to come off that way." I nod at him and sit on the bench. When I do, I pat the seat beside me, inviting him to join. It takes him a few seconds, him just staring at me. He takes a seat.
"What about Luke?" I wanted to get to the point.
"Why do you give a fuck about Sierra? Why do you care if she's with Luke?" He says, his face contorting when he says Luke's name. I still don't understand why he hated Luke so much, but I wasn't about to ask just to be snapped at again.
"I don't," Ashton watches me as he exhales, the smoke stringing away into the air. "I mean I do, but not because I want to be with him." He frowns slightly.
"Then why?"
"He was my best friend, Ashton. You need to understand that."
"I don't like it."
"Why the hell not?"
"Because you're mine," He stares me dead in the eyes, never breaking eye contact. "And as far as I'm concerned, that moment we had on the beach was confirmation of what we were." I watch him, playing with my fingers. I did like Ashton, and him saying this to me made my stomach churn, but in a good way.
"Okay." I nod.
"And I know how it is with you two. It's so on and off. One moment you're not talking to one another and the next you're kissing and then he has you." I laugh at that.
"More like I had him. Luke used to be at my feet no matter the cost, all the time." Ashton sighs.
"My point exactly." I frown at him again.
"Ashton why are you thinking about this?"
"I don't want to lose this, Alice." He stares off at the football field, far off. He takes a larger drag and sighs as the smoke escapes his lips. It made me want to kiss him, the way he looked. He was just wearing a black t-shirt and grey sweats, but he made it look so fucking good.
"You won't," He looks over at me. "Stop worrying about it, Ashton. You're a great guy as much as others can't see that. Luke and I are done, there's nothing there. I only want you, Ash." Ashton stares at me for a good amount of time, his eyes wandering about my face. After a while of silence and him observing me, he moves his hand out, placing it on my cheek. He rubs his thumb gently against my jawline. I begin to wonder what's on his mind.
"What are you thinking about?" He smiles softly, shaking his head.
"You're the best thing about me, you know that?"
