To my surprise I made Ashton go to the rest of his classes. I stood outside to finish the cigarette Ashton and I had shared together, after he'd finished his first one. After of course I went back to class, knowing I'd only look like a hypocrite if I didn't go.
I get home later than I would coming straight home from school. I had walked around town. I didn't want to be home early. I didn't really want to talk with my mum. I knew it would only just be awkward for the both of us. I thought about her a lot, and wondered if I should cut her some slack finally, after all these years. She has tried. She's tried hard to get on my good side, to do everything she could to get me to talk with her, to bother with her. I could tell that she worried about me, constantly. I felt bad.
After a bit of time I arrive at my house. I didn't want to be home, just to be shut up in my room and feel alone, as I always did. But after clearing things up with Ashton today, I felt much better about everything. He was only worried about my feelings for Luke, which as of now there was no need to worry. As far as I was concerned, Luke and I were done.
Sierra made that very clear. I'm sure if Luke cared enough he'd reach out to me. As much as I think it's best I can't help but feel sad. That's eight years of friendship gone down the drain and for what? For a girl and her insecurities? I get that he cheated on her with me but it was an honest mistake. Luke was a sweet a guy, he'd never want to hurt someone on purpose. I just got into his head, I messed with him too much and I guess you can say us not speaking is all my fault. It was. I just didn't want to depress myself further by thinking about it.
"Alice?" I start to realize I've gotten too in my thoughts when my mother stands in front of me, the front door hung open. I shake my head. Was I really that far away? How did I not see the door open?
"Hey, sorry." I walk into the house after a moment of awkward stares. I move across the kitchen to go upstairs and I'm interrupted by her voice again.
"Alice," I look over to her. "Can we talk?" As much as I wanted to ignore her question and go upstairs, I nod silently and take a seat at the kitchen table. Mum crosses the kitchen and pulls out a chair, sitting across from me.
"I'm sorry, Alice," She speaks and I look to her and notice her eyes water. "I'm so so sorry." I shrug.
"It's okay, mum," She begins to shake her head. "I know work is frustrating. For god's sake you're a lawyer. You're under stress and being a single mum, you've got to be overwhelmed." I try to be understanding. I was angry that she made most of my life a living hell, but there had to come a time where we sat down and talked things out. That time was now.
"Alice I hurt you. I blamed you a countless amount of times for your father and I divorcing and I'm so terribly sorry for it. You're my fucking daughter, I should've never even thought of treating you the way that I did. It's unforgivable." She sighs, her lip wobbling as tears fall down her cheeks. I reach over the table and put my hand on hers. When she looks over at me, I smile softly.
"It's okay mum. I forgive you." She takes a deep breath, a small smile forming on her lips.
"I don't deserve a child as wonderful as you, Alice." She shakes her head and I frown.
"I'm not all that wonderful." My mum knew that I smoked cigarettes, she knew about my attendance at school, and she knew how much trouble I used to get into. What was so wonderful about me? A child who was known for nothing but bad mannerisms and terrible behavior. "I'm everything but wonderful." She frowns at me.
"I know you're smart, Alice," I look away from her. "You're beautiful and capable of such incredible things, you just don't believe in yourself enough to discover them." I smile at her.
"Thank you, mum." She nods and stands up. She holds her arms out.
"Now can I get a hug?" I nod and walk around the table, when I get close enough I wrap my arms around her in a tight hug. I sigh deeply as I feel her warm embrace, a feeling I've been missing for years. A mother's loving touch. A voice interrupts us.
"Is everything okay?" I hear Calum speak and scoff.
"Way to ruin the moment."
"Uh.. sorry." He looks confused and I would be too if I saw someone hugging someone they supposedly hated.
"What would you like for dinner Calum?" She speaks and he shrugs, scratching the back of his neck uncomfortably.
"Anything I guess. I'm not a picky eater." When my mum turns around to grab a pot Calum raises an eyebrow at me as if to ask what just happened? I just shake my head and mouth to him a quick tell you later. He nods, satisfied with my answer.
"I'll just make spaghetti then. Today was a long day at the firm, I feel drained."
"Did you win?" Calum asks and my mum sighs. Her and Calum must talk a lot if he knows about her case. I didn't even know she was put on a new case. Now that I think about it, I don't think I was told the context of any of her past cases either. I frown slightly.
"Sadly, the bastard seems to be farther ahead of us. I know he's guilty. I fucking know it. I was prepared though. I wasn't going to get my hopes up in winning because it's a rape case, and you know how those go." She breathes deeply through her nose. Calum nods.
"Yeah, I know. Sorry Cindy." She nods.
"It'll be okay. I just gotta dig deeper." Suddenly, a phone starts ringing. Calum shoves his hand in his pocket and retrieves it before it can hang up, not even looking at the caller ID.
"Hello?" There's a moment of silence before Calum furrows his brows, looking frustrated. "Dad?" Mum freezes a moment before putting the pot full of water on the stove. I look over to Calum. Why would dad be calling?
"Why are you calling me? How are you calling me?" He sighs as my father talks. I can't hear what he's saying on the other end. "Yeah I blocked your number for a damn reason I don't wanna talk to you." With that Calum stands up, leaving the room. I look over to my mum. Just as I'm about to ask why dad would be calling, she speaks up as if to read my mind.
"Before you ask, I don't know." I raise my eyebrows.
"How did you-" I'm cut off by loud, repetitive knocking on the front door. I instantly shoot up and my mum holds a hand up.
"Don't," She looks at me. "You can't just jump to open the door when you don't even know who it is." I sit back down and nod slowly. She walks over to the door and it's silent, nothing but the sound of a pounding of a fist on the door, echoing through the house. I look over to see my mum look through the peep hole. She gasps loudly before opening the door quickly.
"Oh my-" She speaks, worry dripping from her tone. I lean over to get a better look.
"Mum who is it!" She steps away, allowing whoever it was to walk through the door.
I'm surprised yet not delighted to see a bloody Ashton stumble inside.
