Never Alone(Sequel to Back to Life)

Tour Manchester gig 4

*Must read Tour Manchester gig 3 before this one. *

Jordan's pov

We stood on the ramp ready to go with me and my aid through my earpiece. Thanks to Donnie. I look over at him, he could tell I was looking at him through my sunglasses. He mouthed 'No problem'. I smiled back as I touched the mouthpiece of the microphone headset I had on. I was ready, full of my anxiety medication. J think of anywhere but Manchester. I can hear the screams of the fans and pyrotechnics going off. We went into One more night. And breathe J. Just keep breathing Jordan, you do this. I smile to myself. The show became a blur I don't know how I kept going as each song blurred into another. I got through it all this time. As I left the stage I was limping again. Jon looked at me worried. He didn't want to say anything in case I blew up in his face. Instead, he found my crutch for me to use. I took without saying a word just a nod of thanks as I hobbled away. I am not going to make it through the whole tour. I know it. It's only been 3 shows. Luckily we are doing the European leg then we have a break then there's the cruise. I am waiting for Caitlin to turn up from where she was for the show. I look at myself thinking I need to change shirts as I was wearing vest top after showering. I am not wearing that outside to go to the hotel. I would have 2 years ago when I was me, normal lean J not pumped up J looking more like Danny. I look around for another shirt to wear and find somewhere quiet to swap shirts without the eyes looking at me. Too late as I took off the shirt I wore, in came Caitlin with Joe. I swear she was drooling. 

"We get another show of J with no top again. Do we?" smirked Joe "Feeling better J"

"No" as I try to cover myself up in a way of half-trying to put the shirt on, the one I was changing into. I didn't realise it was a tight fitting one. Nothing is going right for me. Where is my jacket?. I need to get out of here before the jokes start flying again about my new look. I am still self-conscious about me, my looks, my weight and scars. I don't lift my shirt up because of the scar on my stomach. I have changed my hairstyle or at least tried too, to cover the one on my forehead, the huge one. Because I am so self-conscious, my anxiety is skyrocketed and I am worried about what people think and what I do as well the way I look. I am so messed up. I want to go to my hotel room and forget about this day and my secret got out of me working out to busy myself with my large amount of nervous energy. I should have done something else other than the gym but because I was there to strengthen my left leg. It was an easy quick fix. I was there anyway. The only thing wrong with that was my new 6/8 pack stomach makes my scar stand out more which I really hate. I look around for Caitlin who disappeared with Joe. When I found her, I grabbed her hand. I whispered in her ear and then dragged her to my hotel to get away. Two years I would have soaked up all the attention I was getting and including showing off my chest more. It does look good but not on me, the lean lanky Jordan.

We left the arena to go to the hotel room. She had been giving me that look since she saw me standing there with no top on twice. We got to my hotel room, she still looking at me as I was unlocking the door. 

"Will you stop looking at me like that".

As I opened the door not looking at her. I shut the door still not looking at her as I walked past. 

"Do you want me to go? You haven't looked at me since we left the arena. You have been avoiding any eye contact".

" No, it's just that you have been looking at me funny all night" I replied anxiously as I removed the jacket that I was wearing. She was biting her lip as I stand there in my t-shirt which sits tightly over my rippled muscles. I finally catch her eyes with a scared look. 

"Stop looking at me like that," I said

"Like what" She replied 

"Like you want to eat me"