Never Alone(Sequel to Back to Life)

Back on the road: Oslo, Norway 3

Tonight is the night. I slowly wake up but when I fully wake up, I realise I am not alone. I get confused. What happened last night?. What did we do last night? I remember I went to my room alone. As I was moving, I woke the body next to me. I jumped in fright and nearly screamed. Then another two moved as well. The one body that was lying at the bottom of the bed rolled off the bed with a yelp but carried on sleeping.

"What's going on?" I replied sleepily.

"Well, someone was sleepwalking again last night" replied Jon next to me. 

"But why is everyone here".

" Looking after you" replied Donnie on the other side of Jon. Danny was on the other side of me. Which means it was drunk Joe that was in a heap on the floor. I moved over to the bottom of the bed to poke him awake. I had to keep poking him to get him to wake up. He didn't realise he was on the floor. 

"Where did you find me?".

" Outside the hotel". 

"What?" I looked at what I was wearing or shall I say what I wasn't wearing. I only had my red pyjama pants on and no top on. I covered myself up. They were all laughing at me. "Why would you do that? Where was I really?". I was starting to panic. 

" Outside my door. You were just sitting on the floor between mine and Donnie's room" replied Jon. 

"You are so mean, guys" I moaned. 

"What am I doing on the floor?" replied a voice. 

"Err. You fell off in ya sleep".

" No, I didn't. I bet Mr Sleepwalker had something to do with it" Joe replied still on the floor. 

"You wanna bet that, do you?" I said looming over him in an intimidating way with my muscular chest showing as I have no top on. 

"Nah. I'm hungry".  

We all got ready to go and grab some breakfast before going over to the arena. We found a quiet corner with our guards and other staff. I sat next to Danny and Jon. The two jokesters were sat opposite me, whispering to each other and looking over at me. I got up and went to the buffet for some food. I came back with a full plate. 

" Hungry, hey J!".

"Haven't eaten much the last few days OK. And yes now I am hungry".

"Shouldn't be eating that crap. You need to watch your figure J" laughed Joe. I glare at him then looked at my plate of bacon, pancakes and scrambled eggs. While I glaring at him I shovelled another mouthful into my mouth. 

"Nope". 

" You're not starting that again Jordan" piped up another voice.

"Start what?"

"Not eating again" replied Jon again.

" I wasn't hungry at home. I had a lot of thinking to do. Ended up sleeping through it all".

"I don't want you going through not eating again. You look good again".

" No, I don't". I carried on eating. 

"I don't want you to overeat because of that" he pointed to my body "I know you are feeling self-conscious because you think you look different from how you normally see yourself. But you look good".

" Knock it off Jon"

"But I am just saying"

"Knock it off" I was getting annoyed.

"But"

"Jon" I growled.

" But".

"Can you knock it off. I am annoyed nobody won't leave me alone. I have the record label thinking bad things of me. I have those two planning something" I pointed to Donnie and Joe "Now my own brother won't leave me alone about my eating habits. I wish everyone would leave me the fuck alone". I got up with my plate and found somewhere to eat on my own. 

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Now we are at the arena getting ready for tonight. Joe and Donnie are being very secretive in the corner. I know, I think I know what they are doing as they keep glancing back at me. I glare at them. They took no notice of me still planning something. Just in case I walk over to the rail where my stage clothes are kept. I read my hand over them just to have a look. I can get away with a shirt and/or jacket. I need something to stop them from pulling up my clothes. I can feel their eyes on the back of my head as they look at me. I know they are planning something. I am not sure what.

As we were now getting ready for the show I was strapping up my left leg, I wonder if I am going to have to do this all the time. I am ever going to be able do a show without help. I am going to ever stop being a nervous wreck. I'm sat away from everyone else in a quiet corner, trying to gather my thoughts and calm me down. I got some music on through my headphones trying to remove any negative thoughts. I concentrate on my breathing nice and slow. I can do this, no I can't, yes I can. Really J just shut up you can do this. It was time for our prayer routine. I look at the floor trying to compose myself.

Now it's showtime. I am still wearing a microphone headset which is easier for me with my shaking hands. Nobody has ever questioned it. I haven't danced in a week, not since the Newcastle gig, I start to feel my leg halfway through the show. I carry on or at least try to as I am stumbling through some of the easier steps. How am I going to get through the leg of the tour as we still have several shows in 9 more countries to go? I am getting tired which shows in my movement on stage although the fans haven't noticed yet. Donnie is noticing something in me as now and then he glances over at me. He does it quick enough that my brother doesn't notice. Soon enough the show is done, I leave the stage totally shattered and the pain in my left leg is unbearable. I fall to the floor the first moment I have to sit on my ass. 

"I told you. You should eat properly then you wouldn't be so exhausted".

"Shut up Jon. I don't need your comments or remarks" I replied getting annoyed "I wish people will stop making remarks. I am here aren't I?". He put his hands up at me and walked off leaving me sitting on the floor.

In a while, I try to stand but my left leg has other ideas and buckles from underneath me and I crash onto the floor in heap again. I got annoyed with myself as I hit the floor. Somehow I get back to the hotel. I don't know how I got there. All I knew I needed something strong to drink so I hit the bottle.