(Completed) Jordan Is now has slowly recovered from the effects of the accident they had on tour last year. If he is really going to recover he will need to find that special someone so Jordan is then never alone.
Time for me to go home and that operation. I have to be ready for the tour and cruise. I have lost count how times I have been in hospital and how many operations I have had. It seems if I am ever going to recover from the accident in 2017. I have had a good time with Caitlin. I could be me again. I didn't have any worries about the band just my own worries about me if I am good enough for Caitlin. We finally did it and took it to another level and had sex. But I shied away because I fell asleep afterwards. I lost trust in myself and took another week for us to be intimate again. With my PTSD and anxiety, it's hard to get away from that barrier of doubt. Its the one thing I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life is my PTSD. I can only control it not able to cure it. That's why I am still worried about my place in the band.
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Well, here I am on the plane at Heathrow ready to go back home. I wanted Caitlin to come with me but she says she cant. Max and work were her excuses. Again I said I can provide for the both of us. She threw the excuse she lives in the UK. I said move to the US with me. She said she cant what with visa issues. And we left it at that. I did say she is coming on the cruise with me. I wish she is here with me. I am scared of the outcome of this op. Once in the air, I sort out the in-flight entertainment. But I slept the entire flight.
Soon arrived in logan airport and through customs towards arrivals. There was Jon waiting for me.
"Good break J" replied Jon as I walk up to him.
"Yeah. You". I give him a hug.
"Beautiful place. Nice weather".
"I can tell you caught the sun. Red nose like Rudolph" I laughed.
"At least I don't look as if I have seen a ghost". Mentioning my lack of tan. I still look like I did when left them in Dublin.
"It rained. We did have some sunny days" I moaned.
"Ready to go. You do need your own place though".
"I know I'm ready now. I need to get Caitlin to move over here first. No point in finding a house without her".
"You guys serious then".
"Yeah, we are. She has helped me a lot". Jon coughed. "And of course you guys too".
"Just teasing you J".
"Seriously you guys have helped so much. I wouldn't be where I am today without you guys. Joe saved my life when I od after receiving my divorce papers. I am thankful for that as I would never have met Caitlin".
"Come on let's go home".
We walk out of the airport to the car park. Soon we are on our way back to his farm.
Me: Just arrived back in Boston. On the way home now. Miss u 😭💕
