It's a week until the cruise and I am dreading it. I was drunk on the first cruise since the accident and the second one I was scared and ran away most of the time. I had several attacks on that one too. Now I have had the brace off and no crutches for a week. Just a support bandage on my knee. I am mending but still not sure it's worked though. Only time will tell I guess. Caitlin has been helping me remember my own songs. I am slowly remembering them. The two of us are sitting outside on the decking. Caitlin is sat on my lap looking out towards the whole of the farm. I am sat in thought maybe I should get my own place now. I have been feeling a lot better in myself. I have accepted the fact that I'm going to be on medication for the rest of my life. I'm on more meds than my brother who has a panic disorder. I lean Caitlin into me as I leant back in the chair.
"Are you coming with me on the cruise?" I asked.
"I will be there for the cruise but when you go for your tour. I will go home" she replied.
"But back for Thanksgiving," I said.
"Not sure".
"Please" I begged.
"Not sure about meeting the rest of your family. Jon doesn't scare me but meeting the rest does especially meeting your mom" she says.
"But she will love you. She wants to meet you ever since I went home for a break during the European tour" I replied.
She didn't say anything else. I want her to come, I need her to come. So I want her to come. I snuggle into her and breathing in her smell of vanilla. I could stay like this all day but we have a meeting about the cruise later but also one about the tour too. I need to do some gym work and gentle cycling. Not allowed to run on it yet. I need to do some but not too much or I will end up back on crutches for the cruise and possibly the tour too. I don't know if I still have a place in the band mainly because I missed two shows being in the hospital, my angry outbursts and they think I'm a liability.
I start humming a tune as I close my eyes. Caitlin has been helping me with remembering my solo stuff. I hadn't had a chance as I was busy remembering the band songs. I was singing to the tune I was humming just now. Caitlin snuggles into me as I sing to her.
"You're remembering. Which song is that?".
" I don't know".
"What have you crying out for since I got here after your operation?". I hope she doesn't see me turn bright red. " That's a dirty song. The one months ago you couldn't believe you were singing it. Now you are". I went quiet. "Don't stop". She moves into me. " I know we haven't for a while and I can feel you want it. But I'm just not feeling too good I haven't for a day or so".
"You sick".
" Just a head cold I think. And a little nauseous that's all".
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.
"You are recovering and I didn't want you to worry over my cold".
" You shouldn't have to". I groan as I look at my watch for the time. "I have to go to the meeting about the cruise. I will be back late as I have another about the tour too". I shiver.
" Don't worry it won't be anything bad. If it was, you would have been told about it already".
She gives me a kiss before she gets up off my lap. I look at her confused as she is looking at my stomach. I look down at what she was looking at. I cover my groin. I look back up at her.
"I can't go like this". I was wearing shorts again but because she was sitting on my lap making me have a bulge there. " Please, can you sort it. You caused it". I wink at her.
YOU ARE READING
Never Alone(Sequel to Back to Life)
Fanfiction(Completed) Jordan Is now has slowly recovered from the effects of the accident they had on tour last year. If he is really going to recover he will need to find that special someone so Jordan is then never alone.
