The Ride of My Life (an Ansel Elgort story)

Chapter 51

Lucy's POV

He doesn't tell me a reason. All he says is I need to be there.

Why?

I let my mind wander into the worst scenarios and I scare myself.

I don't know what's going on, but the way Brandon said it makes me know I have to be there. Immediately.

"I have to go."

"Where?" Ansel asks, his eyebrows still pinched together.

"The hospital. Will you take me?"

"Yeah. But why?"

"I don't know. Ansel, I'm scared."

"Everything will be fine." He puts his arms around me. "Whatever it is, it will be okay."

I put on one of Ansel's t-shirts and some of my shorts and we're out the door in less than five minutes.

The feeling of not knowing what is happening makes me want to throw up. It could be anything.

We get to the hospital and go to where Brandon texted us to go. I see him standing in the waiting room, pacing.

I run up to him. His eyes are swollen like he's been crying for hours.

"What's wrong?" I ask, the only thing I can think to say.

"I've been calling you since last night." He says, his voice cracking like he's about to cry again.

"I left my phone at home."

"I'm so stupid to have not thought to call Ansel until this morning. I needed you last night, Lucy. You needed to be here."

"Brandon. What is going on?"

"It's mom." He stops, and I give him a questioning look, telling him to go on.

"Last night she, uh, she had a brain aneurysm."

I feel my mouth drop to the ground. My head is spinning. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes.

"Well, is she okay?" My voice is small, barely audible. I feel like I'm being suffocated by the air. This cannot be happening.

"She's been in surgery for three hours. They told me they don't know if she's going to recover." And that's it, the tears have started to spill over my eyes and I can't stop them.

I feel like I'm going to fall. Or maybe I'll faint.

"Are you okay?" Brandon asks. He directs me to the chair and I sit down.

"No, not at all." I start sobbing and I hug Brandon.

"Dad is on his way home."

"What about Daniel?"

"Dad told me not to tell him yet. We don't want him to worry. He wouldn't be able to come home anyway."

I don't know what to feel. Numbness is pretty much all there is. Will I ever get to talk to my mom again? Will I ever see her again?

I can't even remember the last time I talked to her.

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I try to tell Brandon to go home and sleep, but he refuses. He's been here since last night, and surely he hasn't slept any. He settles with taking a nap on the pull out couch in the waiting room.

Ansel and I sit in chairs next to each other, holding hands.

"Ansel, I feel so bad. Last night my mom could've died and I was out getting drunk. And I left my freaking phone at home, so Brandon was here all alone all night, worried sick. I'm the worst daughter and sister ever."

"No, you're not. You're human. Stuff like this happens. You are a good person. I know it."

"I'm so scared."

"Hey, look at me. You are strong. You'll make it through whatever happens. And I am here for you."

I believe him. No matter what happens, I have to push through. There's no other option.

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After what feels like forever, the surgeon comes in. I nudge Brandon to wake him up.

"I have good news and bad news. The good news is, your mom is out of surgery. We were able to fix the brain bleed." It feels like a thousand pounds have been lifted off my chest. I don't get too comfortable with this feeling because I know the bad news is still coming. "The bad news is that we don't know if she will wake up. She is in a coma right now. The pressure in her brain was very high, so it would be impossible for her to be conscious right now. Once the brain pressure drops, we will try to wake her."

This is a lot to take in. I want my whole family to be here. Healthy and conscious.

"Can we see her?" Brandon asks.

"Yes, of course. I just want to warn you that her appearance may not be what you expect. After all, she did just have brain surgery."

Brandon nods and we stand up. Ansel stands up but lets go of my hand. He places his hand on my back as if telling me to go without him.

The doctor leads us to the room in the ICU. He was right. What I see is definitely not what I expected.

My mom is laying there, tubes and cords everywhere. The front part of her head is shaved and there is a big line of stitches. Her eyes are closed and her face is lifeless. I stand next to her bed and hold her hand. It's cold and stiff, but I know that somewhere beneath all the medication, my mother can feel it. She knows we're here. She has to.

I still don't believe this is happening.