(My life story in one freaking Imagine. Well damn...)
Your POV
"Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I doing it to him?" I question myself.
Listen, I have so many problems in my life it's not even funny. Love triangles to possible love SQUARES. Yes you heard me right, love squares. I hate them so much. I'm trapped in them.
I had Shawn Mendes as my first actual boyfriend. The first guy I actually had feelings for and after a month he broke everything off because he didn't want me to wait for him. Yes I was heart broken, and I figured out that I still am. I keep trying to find what I had with him and end up hurting them and myself. No, this is not healthy, but I'm stuck in the relationship I'm in now. He says he LOVES ME. I can't do it. I just can't.
Anyways, I'm in school, doing my normal routine as usual. It's the day of Fine Arts Night. We usually have this night for all the fine arts people, like Art Club, Choir, Drama, and Band. Lucky me, I'm in choir AND so is SHAWN. What do I do with myself? I have absolutely no idea. I'm an Alto, and for those of you who don't know what that is, it's a voice range for girls that have lower voices. Shawn is a tenor. A guy with a higher voice.
Too be honest, I was scared that I would have to be beside him during the concert and my parents would notice. We get to the auditorium and get in our places. Thankfully, I'm not beside him but I kinda wished I was... Don't judge me it's complicated. My life is complicated.
I'm getting off track, so the Fine Arts Night ends and I go to my parents. As you usually do. Keep in mind Shawn hasn't talked to me in MONTHS. Dad points out who Shawn's dad is, because they knew each other when they were sort of Shawn and I's age. As we were about to leave, Shawn turns over to me and does this...
"Y/n!" I stop and turn around to face him and he continues, "Good job."
"Thanks," I reply and make a sprint for the door.
First words he said to me in months! When I get home, I texted him that he did a good job on his solo, but he denies he did a good job. And I'm just like..."HELLO YOU HAVEN'T TEXTED ME EITHER IN MONTHS, WHAT IS GOING ON?!"
Maybe he's being nice... Who the hell compliments someone you haven't spoken to in months? He does apparently...
Also keep in mind I have a boyfriend at the moment...
Two days later...
I walk into my 2nd period class (which is English) and I start getting out a book to read so I can pass the time. At least until class starts. The bell rings and as usual Shawn is being a complete DORK. Which made me fall for him in the first place. He makes eye contact with me and he's being his normal cute doggone self. My BOYFRIEND is right beside me and I'm trying so hard not to make anything obvious.
My current boyfriend knows that I go back to Shawn. He knows it. I try to deny it. Like that ever goes to plan...
Timeskip to Choir. I have that class with one of my best friends who I talk about my problems with. I ask her if anything suspicious happened in class that day. As usual she caught Shawn looking over at me and once at my boyfriend... Why? I have absolutely no idea but he does it. MIXED SIGNALS. HAS HE HEARD OF THEM? Probably not...
Sorry that I'm yelling...but I need to get this off my chest...
There's three ways this could go...1. I find someone else and be happy for the rest of my life. 2. Shawn confesses his feelings to me and we can live happily ever after. 3. I will die alone with a bunch of dogs. Or in other words be a crazy dog lady. I don't mind, but that'll be the end of my blood line. As in blood line, I mean I'm the only child...
Which path do I want to go down? All three. *Laughs* but seriously though. I would love for Shawn to confess all his feelings about me, if he does reciprocate my feelings. (😉)
"What am I doing? Why am I doing it to him?" I question myself, "It's not fair to him or me, but I have to try to lose my feelings for Shawn no matter the cost..."
Here's the sad truth, he most likely won't reciprocate my feelings. He'll just keep dragging me along, suffocating me, keeping me hostage, and not giving me any mercy. We'll see how my current relationship goes. And if it goes well, well my life will be perfect. If not, oh well, I'll just start over again...
(Wow, I haven't updated anything in a while. Hope u enjoy this REAL LIFE based imagine. Ugh I hate my life rn... Comment down below if u want a part 2!)
