A Silver Lining (#Wattys2018)

chapter 30| cruz

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Song: Seventeen by Alessia cara

Quote: "New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings"
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I walked in to the sitting room in time, to see his face fall, and for him to mutter a small "oh". I crossed my legs, and stared at him, waiting for him to flare up and decide he can't do this anymore.

"I don't think I can do that now" He spoke in a low voice. I felt a sense of calmness and belatedness within me.

"I want to go slow with him, of course I can't hide the truth from him, I just want to spend enough time with him".

"Spend enough time with him" I mocked his almost inaudibility, "So that one day you can brain wash him into believing what ever lie, you decide to tell him".

He gasped, "That's not what I meant".

I was starting to feel rueful about my earlier statement, I shouldn't have allowed any thirty minutes interaction between them, even if it was on a Sunday. My expectations was crushed, I thought he would flare up at the rules I had given to him, but here he was, trying to make the best possible use of it, before its commencement.

"That is what you mean" I gritted, "And that is what you are, a low being and conniving bastard, whose sole purpose and joy is ruining the lives of others".

"A-Aramide" He stood up, and his voice cracked in calling my name.

"Myself and Jason, has been doing fine, now you want to march in, and ruin everything, you want to take my son away from me". I accused with anger, jumping to my feet.

"I'd never try to take him away from you".

I was standing very close to him, our breaths mingling. "Then explain, what the hell you are doing in my house".

He was silent.

"You can't talk" I fired, "because its the truth, you want to eat your cake and still have it, that's impossible".

"Aramide, please".

"Please what?" I was screaming on top of my voice, and was clutching my throat with one hand, to ease the pain I was feeling. "Please allow you to ruin our lives like you did years back, or please forget your rejection and denial and accept you with open hands".

"I can't ask you to forgive me, or forget everything in day, all I am saying is please give me a chance with Jason".

"How is it that you are so daft" I spat. "that you are so small minded, that all you ever think of is your self, your self, and your self alone".

We continued our stare on, with heavy breaths.

"I am not selfish" His words came out gently after the silence "I just a place in my son's life".

"Your son" I emphasized, "Nine years ago, did you respond like this, you wanted nothing, absolutely nothing to do with him".

"I was in the wrong back then" He corrected, his voice rising "I did not believe you and I was scared, how could I handle such a big task at Nineteen?".

"Are you asking me?" I shouted back. "Was I the most suitable person to handle it at seventeen? Did I appear so brave, when you were trembling with fright and denied me?".

"I am sorry" He fell on his knees, clutching my legs.

"Sorry?" I mumbled, as his sob and tight grip on my legs, gnawed at my stance. "It cant change a thing".

He sobbed on, clutching my legs and my heart ached. Not because I was considering the option of forgiving him. It ached because his pleads for a second chance, were tearing open, old wounds, that I thought I was healed, thoroughly of.

I closed my eyes, repeating words to calm myself down. "Fine, even if I try to push you away, I can't take Jason away from you, he already likes you, and i won't try to poison his mind about you".

He stopped sobbing and peered at me from his kneeling position. I realized that this was worst state, I had ever seen him in. I didn't even know that I was crying, until a drop of tears from my eyes, hit his forehead. I didn't bother to get rid of the tears.

"He is yours, for thirty minutes Saturdays and Sundays. But only after his homeworks".

"You are the better person" He mused, standing up, he caught a running tear from my eye, with his pinky fingers. "Thank you".

Did I do the right thing? Or I was plain stupid?

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I left Asiwaju in the sitting room, and went into my room where I found Jason very much asleep. I kissed him on the forehead and wiped a stray drop of tears that fell on his cheeks. I entered the bathroom and the waterworks opened.

Sometimes later, when I fell asleep and woke up, I found Asiwaju downstairs, in a sitting position in the living room. He was staring at my phone. He looked up, when I stood in his front. His gaze softened.

I cleared my throat, praying that my emotions do not betray me, and demanded for my phone. When he placed it on my palms, I wondered why I did not send him out of my house since.

"I am sorry, I went through your phone" He spoke first, his honey eyes searching mine.

"Why did you go through my phone?" I steeled my voice, I barely gave him a chance with Jason and now he was trying to invade my own personal space.

"I was reading the message".

"Did I not--" I stopped, as a wave of pain hit my head. I gasped.

He was by side in a minute, and as he asked me how I was feeling, It came to my notice that, Jason had the same slight crookedness of Asiwaju's nose. And they shared the same eye color, honey brown.

I struggled to nod. He left me side promising to be back in a minute, he exited my house. When he came back, I was fighting the growing pains in my head, he placed a glass of water, and popped two aspirin pills in my hands. I swallowed it.

My vision became flurry, as I saw two versions, then three, then four versions of him, they were asking how I was feeling. I wanted to tell them, that I wasn't fine, that someone was pounding the sides of my head and that my eyes were becoming too heavy for me.

I wanted to tell him that, I wasn't a strong person. My showdown with him, concerning Jason was just too much.

I wanted to tell him that, the messages were another thing, this weak person could not carry.