And Then It Happened (Completed)

Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Life really has its own ways of fucking you up. Iyong akala mo na okay na ay hindi pala. Akala mo wala nang katapusan ang kasiyahan mo kasi finally nakahanap ka na ng taong gugustuhin mong makasama habang buhay. And then suddenly, one single thing comes up and another one follows and so on. Sa isang iglap, ang dating buo mong sarili ay bigla na lang nadurog.

Hindi agad ako nakagalaw sa kinauupuan ko. Patuloy lang ako sa pag-iyak habang nakayuko. Hindi ko na nga alintana ang mga taong nakatingin na sa table namin ni Blue. Kahit siya ay hindi na gumagalaw. Ni hindi ko alam anong tumatakbo sa isip niya ngayon.

"At least I made a right choice for not continuing the wedding," sabi ko sa pagitan ng paghikbi. Hindi siya sumagot and I took that as a cue to stand up. "Gusto kitang saktan but I don't have the energy to do it. Galit ako sa 'yo. Kinamumuhian kita, Blue. Pero hindi ako gaya mo na walang konsensya kung manakit ng tao."

Sapat na sa akin na siya mismo ang magsabi na mahal niya pa si Levy para lumayo na ako. Kahit mahal ko pa siya, mas pipiliin ko pa ring lumayo na lang. I don't want to own just a tiny part of his heart. I deserve something more than that.  

Gusto ko siyang sampalin. Gusto ko siyang bugbugin. Pero masyado nang nanginginig ang katawan ko para kumilos pa. I need to go home.

"Ayaw kong ipilit ang sarili ko sa 'yo. Kaya doon ka na sa mahal mo," I said.

That was the last words I said before storming out of the restaurant. Matapos ang pangyayaring 'yon ay hindi na kami muling nagkita.

Two months have passed but the pain is still there. Hindi nga madaling pahilumin ang sugat. Kaya hindi na ako magtataka kung bakit ilan sa mga nasaktan na ay ayaw na muling magmahal. Ang hassle kasi mag-move on.

Sa buong dalawang buwang dumaan ay ginugol ko ang oras ko para sa sarili ko. I went on out of town and country trips. I opened a new Instagram account and filled it with pictures of my adventures. I meet new people and discover beautiful places. In a span of two months, marami akong na-discover sa sarili ko. I discovered my passion for photography so I explored it. Mas lalo kong nakilala ang sarili ko. At unti-unti ko na ring nabubuo ang sarili kong nawasak dahil sa isang pag-ibig na akala ko ay para sa akin na.

My parents were mad at Blue. Kasi ang lakas raw nitong humarap sa kanila gayung may tinatago pala siya sa amin. His parents apologized to my family, bagay na hindi nagawa ni Blue kaya ganoon na lang ka-tarantado ang tingin ng parents ko sa kanya. His parents thought he already told us everything kaya wala silang nabanggit sa amin. It was crazy.

Maging si Keanna ay galit na galit kay Blue. Nag-away pa sila ni Raymond dahil wala raw itong sinabi sa kanya. As for Raymond, hindi niya raw sinabi because he was not in the position to spill it. Sabi rin daw kasi ni Blue ay sasabihin niya naman daw sa akin, which he didn't do. That made me realize how much of a jerk he is. At hindi ko deserve ang isang gagong tulad niya.

Right now, I'm still embracing the fact that I'm single again. I'm still on the process of moving on hanggang sa tuluyan nang maghilom ang mga sugat sa puso ko. It's really not easy but it's necessary. Para sa ikapapayapa ng puso ko.

"In fairness, feed goals ka na ngayon ha?" Keanna said. Hawak-hawak niya ang phone niya. She's probably stalking my instagram account.

Nasa isang coffee shop kami near my new condo. Umalis na ako sa dating building namin because it won't help. Marami lang akong maaalala kung mananatili ako doon.

"Gusto mo pumuntang Korea?" I asked. Marami kasi akong nakikitang nagpunta doon and their pictures are so aesthetic. Gusto ko rin sanang pumunta at ma-experience maging Koreana kahit ilang araw lang.

"Libre mo ba?" She asked. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Ikaw ang may trabaho sa ating dalawa kaya ikaw dapat ang nanlilibre diyan," I murmured.

"Eh ikaw nagyaya," she replied.

"Alam mo namang palamunin pa ako ng parents ko."

"Ang swerte mong palamunin 'no? Nakakapag-ibang bansa ka using your parents' money."

"Swerte pero nakakahiya na. Hahanap na nga ako ng trabaho this week."

It was actually my parents' idea na wag muna akong maghanap ng trabaho. I-enjoy ko raw muna ang buhay ko habang wala pang umaagaw ng time ko para sa sarili ko. May naghihintay naman daw kasing trabaho sa akin according to Dad pero ayaw ko rin kasing magtrabaho sa company niya kaya dini-delay ko ang pagsisimulang magtrabaho. I want to do something I'm passionate about.

"Ano bang hahanapin mong trabaho? You don't want business related works diba? Eh business ad graduate tayo, girl," she murmured. She's currently working in an international company ngayon. Her plan is to save enough money to open her own business. At least she has something in mind na.

"'Yon nga eh. I still don't know what I want to do," I said as I sip my coffee.

"Why don't you..." She said. She looked up na para bang may iniisip. And when her eyes landed on the screen of her phone, she then looked at me excitedly. "Why don't you do photography? You know. You have the talent."

"Do I?"

"Oo, girl! Your shots are so great. Pwede ka nang magtayo ng sarili mong photo studio or whatever that has something to do with photography. You should do that!"

Saglit akong napaisip sa sinabi niya. Right. I'm loving photography. Maybe I should consider doing it.

"Oo nga 'no?"

With that, I looked up for photography jobs online.

"Hey..." I heard my mother went inside my room.

"Hi, Mommy," sabi ko habang nakatingin pa rin sa screen ng laptop ko.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"I'm trying to look for photography jobs online," I said. I looked at her and smiled. "I want to do photography, Mommy."

After I said it, I saw my Mom smiled. Biglang nagkaroon ng excitement sa mukha niya.

"Really?"

"Okay lang po ba?"

"Of course! I know you don't love business so just do whatever you want. You deserve that. And we'll support you on that," she said and I couldn't be any happier. "By the way, why don't take some photography classes?" 

"Should I?"

"Yes! If you want."

Mas lalo akong naging excited sa bagong kabanata ng buhay ko. Kaya kinabukasan ay nagpunta akong mall to look for a great camera to use.

I was looking at the displays of camera. Kakaibang kasiyahan ang naramdaman ko. It was like, finally may nahanap na akong gagawin na alam kong sasaya talaga ako.

Nang makapili na ng camera ay binayaran ko agad. I was so excited na gusto ko nang umuwi agad to use it. Kaya pagkatapos magbayad at makapagpasalamat ay tumalikod na agad ako to go out of the store.

But I wasn't able to take another step because a kid bumped into me.

"Ooopps, I'm sorry po," the kid said. He was so cute and so chubby.

"It's okay-"

My smile quickly faded away when I saw a man grabbed the kid's hand.

Biglang nanghina ang katawan ko but I was able to hold on to my paper bag containing my new camera. Mahal 'to kaya hindi dapat mahulog.

But even if I was able to prevent my paper bag from falling, I can't deny the erratic beating of my heart.

Because right in front of me is the man who broke my heart. And he's with Levy and their kid.

Pakshet.

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-Eessa