"I've got something after school, so don't wait for me." Amarin said after coming out of the bathroom. He was feeling much better comparing to yesterday and also considered dropping the doctor's appointment.
"Oh, okay. What is it?" Karn was very surprised after hearing that, his best friend had rarely plans that didn't involve him as well.
"Well... You know... you remember those girls you dared me to talk to? I'm meeting up with one of them." Amarin sweated as he struggled to come up with believable plans. It couldn't be shopping or going out with ex-classmate, because his friend would want to join him.
Karn started feeling uneasy all of sudden. Is he in contact with them? Why? Shouldn't he be happy? Amarin might get a girlfriend soon, that's great. "Good luck then. Seems like you won't be a virgin soon." He grinned a bit forcefully, trying to get his act together.
"Thanks. Shall we go now? I'm ready." Amarin tried to change the topic, wanting to leave this uncomfortable conversation as soon as possible. As they walked out of the room, Karn's phone started ringing.
"Yes?" He picked up after short struggling to get it out of the pocket.
"Hi, it's me, Ellie." The speaker was so loud Amarin standing next to him could clearly hear everything.
"Oh, hey." He smiled. Amarin felt a sharp knife stabbing his heart once again. He tried to get away and leave his best friend behind to let him have some privacy when Karn grabbed his hand, waving that it's okay to stay. It might have been okay for him, but Amarin's feelings were being crushed.
"I was wondering... do you have time right now? I want to apologize for being so rude yesterday and treat you breakfast." Karn had only afternoon lectures that day, therefore he had no reason to refuse. Also, he felt like giving Ellie a chance to apologize when she did the same to him.
Yet, he wasn't feeling up to it. Staying beside his friend's side and meet up with his gang sounded better than morning with Ellie. He looked at Amarin, confused what to do and hoping for an answer.
Amarin nodded, interpreting it as Karn asking for permission to go. Who was him to tell him what to do? Amarin misjudged Karn's desperation as wanting to see Ellie really bad. His friend left shortly after the call to meet up, leaving him behind. Amarin's started getting used to it.
It might be better this way, he thought as he walked to school. Nobody will misunderstand them as couple if Karn has a girlfriend. He should keep a distance for time being and let him work it out with Ellie.
After all, they were just friends. What right he had to stay by Karn's side forever?
*** *** ***
"I've asked you already, but are you sure about this? You can't back up or change your mind. And you definitely should reconsider. There's still hope." The doctor looked at Amarin as devastated parent trying his best not to lose it.
"There's nothing to reconsider. We both know the outcome and it won't matter if I try or not." Amarin said, having trouble to talk normally. He was expecting to break down, yet all he felt was emptiness and lack of feelings.
"Once you sign it, there's no going back. We can start the treatment right away... tomorrow!" The doctor started feeling desperate. He realized there's no way Amarin will change his mind.
"For what? Mom tried it... and is she here? Here's your answer." He cut him off by placing a signature at the bottom of the documents. He handed it back to the doctor and stood up. The world around him started spinning again, forcing him to close his eyes and lose balance for a second.
"Careful!" He was caught by the doctor before falling down.
"I'm alright." He hushed him off, blinking few times and clearing his vision.
"You're in no position to say that."
"Yet, I'm alright." Amarin argued, being stubborn as always.
"Let me at least prescribe you some pills. I can't even imagine what you will go through from now on." The doctor sighed, feeling broken inside. Cases like this made him wonder if there's any justice left in the world. This was just pure unfairness, and the helplessness he felt towards Amarin made it even worse. He couldn't decide for him, nor did he stand a chance to persuade him.
"You should inform the school infirmary, I will also write you a paper with your diagnosis you absolutely have to carry around everywhere. If anything happens, I likely won't be the one treating you. If the other doctor spends too much time on re-diagnosing you, it might be too late." His voice shook and he clenched his fist.
"Here you go. Take two of them in the morning and two of them in the evening. It won't do any miracles and there might be side effects as exhaustion or fatigue. I'm giving you the strongest dose, so don't combine it with other painkillers. This is very aggressive with other medications. Got it?" The doctor explained to Amarin while handing him the prescription.
"Come anytime... I'll do what I can to help you. A call is enough and I'll come running." He said as goodbye, his eyes finally filling up with tears. Amarin shook hands with him and thanked for everything he's already done for him.
He then left the office, knowing he won't come again by his own will.
*** *** ***
Amarin's phone buzzed when he finally reached the dorms. It started getting dark and cold outside, yet he didn't feel like going back to his room.
Karn: How was the date today? Wanna meet up? Play some LOL?
He struggled to read the message, his vision going burry again.
Amarin: Mybe nrxt time. I just caem back.
He couldn't see properly, causing him to make few typos he didn't notice.
Karn: Are you alright? Drunk?
How Amarin wished he was just drunk. He would wake up tomorrow, remember nothing from today or being it all just a nightmare.
Unfortunately, this was the harsh reality.
Brain tumor. Fourth stage.
His time was up to six months without treatment.
Treatment he's refused.
Amarin: I'm only tired. Goodnight.
Hello ~ it took me longer since I've changed some parts. The story is about to get down and actually start, it was just a foreplay to this point.
I know it's dark but that's what you've signed up for! Vote and comment if you have time. ❤️
YOU ARE READING
Love beyond Death
Romance"You are and always have been my whole world." He started by answering his first question, looking at the blanket he was covered by. He will speak the truth and truth only, he'd ran out of lies anyway. "I love you." ...
