Love beyond Death

Chapter 22

"Amarin, open the door." Karn knocked impatiently, starting to be worried. It's been a while since he locked himself in the bathroom and hasn't come out yet.

"Give me some privacy." Karn heard from behind the door.

"I just want to know if you're okay." He answered, trying the handle but it was still locked.

"I am. Don't stand in front of the door, it's uncomfortable." Amarin said and Karn could heard running water.

"Okay, just come out already." He resigned and walked to the bedroom.

Amarin was relieved when he didn't hear the person on the other side of the door anymore. He was in state beyond panic attack. He'd been staring at paper in his hand for few minutes but couldn't understand.

Your name is Amarin.

You were born 18.10. 1998.

The person living with you is Karn, your boyfriend.

You have a brain cancer that's damaging your memory.

He couldn't understand... nor remember. This were clearly his notes he has written for a case like this. For a case when he wakes up in the morning and won't recognize himself nor anybody else around him.

It made him sick and he threw up twice. He felt like his whole mind was empty, just a black space. Amarin couldn't remember a single thing... the more he tried, the more his head hurt. He was thankful to himself for the note hidden in his pocket, yet it also made him more anxious.

Knowing he couldn't stay in the bathroom any longer, he unlocked the door and walked out to find the worrying person in the bedroom. He was currently fixing the bed and cleaning a bit.

"Karn?" he asked quietly, afraid it's not the person's actual name.

"You finally came out. I was so worried that something happened." The look Amarin saw on his boyfriends face made his heart twitch from pain. Tears filled up his eyes as he tried his best to remember. They were clearly close but Karn didn't even look familiar. When Amarin looked in the mirror, he didn't find himself familiar.

"I-...I don't recognize you." He said and tears rolled out from his eyes.

Karn's ears started ringing. His stomach dropped down on floor.

"What... what do you mean? You just said my name. If this is a prank, I'm not mentally stable enough to handle it." Karn tried to laugh it off, but the serious and scared expression on Amarin's face just proved this is not a prank.

"I've written a note to myself if something like this happens. I've been probably losing my memory for a while, but I don't really know." Amarin said and handed him the note.

"We have to go to the hospital. Now." Karn ordered without looking at the note, panicking. He put on a coat and tossed other one to his boyfriend.

His own head was spinning as they got in a taxi. How come he didn't notice anything? How come he didn't know Amarin was losing his memory so fast? He has failed again. Not only he wasn't able to tell his then best friend had the incurable disease, he didn't notice that his now boyfriend was having troubles.

He has failed both opportunities he had.

He has failed as friend and as boyfriend.

He has failed as human being.

Amarin, being next to him all the time, could feel all the emotions Karn was experiencing. He wanted to do at least something for the person he loved... when he was still himself, not an empty shell without any memories.

He reached out to his hand and held it for as long as it was possible. Karn needed it more than anything, so even when they reached the hospital and doctors took them in, he couldn't let go.

They eventually had to be separated after Amarin gone to x-rays and magnetic resonation. Meanwhile, Karn tried to talk to doctors about possibilities and kept his coolness. This wasn't about him, this wasn't his time to let his emotions go berserk.

The results came out mere two hours after their arrival to hospital. Karn, being from a wealthy family, paid for everything and demanded only the best and fastest treatment.

When the doctors were done with looking at the pictures and projections of Amarin's head and brain, he was called in, alone. The patient had to stay behind and May, the nurse from before, started making all necessary steps for Amarin's admission to hospital.

It was worse than Karn even imagined. The doctor ordered him to sit down as soon as he entered the room.

"I wish I could explain it nicely, but I bet you want to spend more time with him than talking to me." It was the first sentence he got after greeting. Karn felt like throwing up after all the stress he's gone through. This had to be some kind of dream, he couldn't still process all the information.His whole body was shaking from the tension nomatter how hard he tried to stop.

"This is Mr. Perawat's brain. And this..." He circled a huge white spot on a monitor. It was taking up around ¼ of the whole picture. "...is what we're dealing with." Karn exhaled slowly, that's a lot to deal with.

"If we zoom in," doctor moved the mouse on the monitor, "there are smaller spots here, here and here." He pointed on the area around the huge spot.

"The cells are dividing, very fast. It stopped for a short while, but it's aggressive as ever now." Karn clenched his fists, digging his sharp nails deep into his palms.

"This is a picture from 16 days ago." The photo changed and another one appeared on the screen. The spot on this one was half of the size of the previous one. "The cancer has damaged central memory storage. His memory could recover up to 20% at its best... but there won't be enough time. If you look here, this spot is only few millimeters from the nerve center. The brain operates all the internal organs from there." The doctor took a deep breath before saying the last sentence.

"Mr. Perawat has... not even two weeks at this rate. We will do our best."

Karn's vision went dim before his whole world collapsed.

I know, but I'm gonna make it a happy ending in my own terms, stay with me please ~ I'm so scared people will stop reading this. 😅😭

The next chapter will be up tomorrow, I've already written it. I'm sorry for the mistakes, point them out please!

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