Did she just smile?
Since the accident, he hadn't seen her smile. Especially not at her. And when he'd tried to reach for her, she had flinched.
But she had just smiled at him.
In that moment, Tora felt calmer. He could think clearer. That still didn't stop his guilt, though.
Before the accident, after his parents had shown (Y/N) the newspaper article on her parents and she'd left the school compounds, Tora had turned on his parents. Sir Igarashi had stood up quietly and left the room, leaving Tora alone with his mother.
He had yelled at her. "You bitch! How could you hurt her like that?"
Lady Igarashi had raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Don't insult me, my son."
He sensed an insult underneath the honeyed words. If I'm a bitch, you're a son of a bitch, she seemed to be saying.
He advanced onto his mother, sipping her coffee. "You think I care about your feelings? You mocked (Y/N), Mother."
Lady Igarashi sighed and put down her cup. There was genuine sympathy in her voice now. "My dear, she's a pauper now. We can't afford her to be your girlfriend. Why don't you try one of the other girls in your school? There's the car company's daughter- her family makes good money and won't go bankrupt so easily-"
"No!" Tora yelled in her face. "You don't get it, because Father never loved you! You never loved anyone! All you want is fame and money!"
The words were like a slap in the face. Tora knew that. He knew his parents had almost signed divorce papers 4 times, yet they always stuck together for the sake of face. He knew they had been matchmade once. A wealthy daughter with another wealthy son.
Lady Igarashi looked at her son, her gaze pleading. "Listen, my dear. I always loved you. It's for your-"
"My own good, right? That's what you've told me all my life! Then why aren't I happy? I'm not happy with this life you've made for me, Mother," Tora spat out.
As Tora remembered that incident, guilt covered his other feelings. He had shouted at her. His mother. Even though she had loved him. And she never wanted him to be with (Y/N).
Was he actually a loyal son? Once she was dead, he was already going against her wishes...
----
After school the next day, I go to my voice therapy, as the therapist calls it. She trains me to use my voice again, to practice speaking. My throat feels dry and I can't speak still.
I feel frustrated again. I just can't do it.
The therapist watches me attempt to say "aaaa" with a patient smile on her face. "Doing better," she calls as I produce a raspy sound that sounds like "argggg".
I feel annoyed, though. She's so nice I feel bad if I'm mad with her. I just can't help liking her, even though she's super annoying. Ugh.
She keeps talking in her squeaky voice. Finally I get so fed up that I sign to her: I'm leaving.
She stops and looks at me in confusion. "Why?"
I sign again. I have something on.
The therapist shrugs and smiles. "Extra time the next session then."
As I leave, I wonder why the school counsellor missed me out when she went around checking for students to counsel. Obviously, I have some issues. Like getting annoyed at overly sweet people.
